In Pan Post 81, Gamma Pans is in the Observatory aboard Camelot and watching people. King Mark arrives to introduce him to a 'colonisation committee', which includes his wife Queen Iseult of Ireland. They request Gamma Pan's help as he may be able to look beyond the limits of Earth's vegetation being from Saturn. Sir Gawain and Sir Greene Knight have also been helping to plan their colonisation and really Mark just wants to help Gamma not be so lonely amongst the humans. Meanwhile, on Neptune Arthur is introduced to the idea that the strange, magical snowflake spaceship was actually from Earth by the Fayrie King. When collected from the planet, Arthur is taken up in a space boat being driven by the incompetent Sir Robin who accidentally opens the eject seat and shoots out of the ship. Prince Mordred successfully rescues the knight but he is seriously injured, saved only by Sir Galahad's medicinal knowledge he'd learnt from Sir Gawain. The Red Rose Knight, after speaking with Sir Caelia and other Aes Sidhe, tells Arthur of the story of Prince Oberon who left Albion to marry a human wife and left for the stars. Some truth may lie in the story as the ship seems to be impossibly old, according to Morganna le Fay. Before Admiral Ltexi can leave the ship, Arthur grows too impatient and jumps before she could go - stranding her on Camelot.


Space Camelot: Space Snowflake

Characters: King Arthur | Queen Guinevere | Prince Mordred | Morganna le Fay | Merlin the Younger | Sir Kay | Sir Lancelot | Sir Bedivere | Sir Galahad | Sir Tristram | Sir Caelia | Sir Red Rose Knight | Sir Black Knight | Sir Faerie Knight | Andy | Admiral Ltexi | Gamma Pans | Nerifian | Fayrie King | Monde | King Mark | Queen Iseult | Sir Gawain | Sir Greene Knight

Humans smell weird.

They don't smell bad. Just weird. A bit like soil or lettuce. Earth lettuce at that. And their bodies are all stretched out and long, while they have stumpy legs that must make them very slow when running. That's why they need those horse beasts to get around. And they wear clothing made from plants! That might be why they smell like lettuce.

Gamma Pans is in the Observatory watching the humans going about their daily routines. Some are here for the view, others are here to meet with friends, while some seem to be making plans for the future and directing events. He doesn't recognise any of these humans. All the ones he is familiar with have gone down to a strange, new planet - and left him up here to do nothing. He had hoped he would be taken down to the planet Uranus too but, for some reason, he was either forgotten or not trusted enough. He had sulked for an hour, then took to people watching.

Most people didn't actually seem to do anything here. Merlin, a short human child with the inability to grow human hair and a skin disease that turned her bright red on occasion, said that the ship itself was providing everything they needed with minimal input from them. It created food and new clothes, though most still wore the clothes they'd brought with them, and the ship needed little maintenance. Most people that are employed somewhere are employed to research - trying to figure out what most parts of this ship are actually for. It reminds him of his own status - research specimen and owner of the amulet, due for research too.

Fear of his fellows and curiosity of an incredible future brought him up here. Frustration and isolation is going to kill him.

And then, suddenly, he's being accosted.

Strange Human: "Come on, son, let's see if you can be useful, eh?"

The man seems to be more heavily dressed than most, having a thick furry cloak around his shoulders and a little hat on his head. The man is a little heavy-set, perhaps from eating more than other humans, and his voice is very soft with a rasp to it. Gamma is sure he's being very friendly but the X-Krypton can't figure out why or what the weird guy expects him to do.

Gamma Pans: "Uh, where are you taking me?"

Strange Human: "I was thinking that you may have a unique perspective on our little schemes. That and you looked terribly bored by yourself."

Gamma has to concede to that point but he isn't sure what kind of perspective he could give on any human matter.

He's led through the sparse crowds of the Observatory, beneath the swirling visual of the planet Uranus' clouds and the great machines floating in its orbit. He glances at some people who are having a picnic under the blue cast of light and he admires how humans do seem to appreciate aesthetics of the universe far more than his own people seem to.

They reach a set of four, long tables that have been positioned into a square and on the tables are assorted papers. Some of the papers have writing but most have pictures on them, usually pictures of green things.

There's a group of people around the tables, mostly discussing energetically or scurrying off to do something or perhaps pointing and inspecting things on the papers. Planning is definitely the word Gamma would use here.

One woman looks up, her eyes drawn by the approach of the strange human Gamma is with. Her eyes meet his with a certain kind of respect, admiration but also a sadness that Gamma finds unusual. Then she looks at him and she brightens with excitement. She hops round the table, bustling with enthusiasm and energy. When she reached them her hands scoop up one of Gamma's and she wiggles up and down rapidly.

He watches the action, perturbed.

Strange Woman: "It's great that you decided to help us! An outside view will be really, really helpful."

Gamma Pans: "Uh..."

Strange Man: "Sorry, darling, I actually haven't given him much choice. I sort of just dragged him over here..."

Strange Woman: "Och, how awful of ye."

She gives the man a chastising smirk. She lifts up her green and white dress as she then turns and sweeps her free hand over the tables to indicate the work that they're doing.

Strange Woman: "We're making colonisation plans, Custodian Pans. Huh, that rhymes!"

Strange Man: "Mmmm, does it really?"

He winces playfully. She puts her hands on her hips, attempting to garner authority.

Gamma is amused that he's learning these human body expressions.

Strange Woman: "Aye! It does! A wee bit anyway!"

She then realises she's probably wrong and whips her head up.

Strange Woman: "Pah! Who cares anyway? English is a stupid language."

Strange Man: "Couldn't agree more, my dear. But that's the language of the realm and we have to put up with it."

Strange Woman: "Oh right. I always forget yer native language is Cornish, not English. Ye Englanders are all the same to me!"

Although a joke there's a sudden, brisk tension between them. Her eyes glance up at him but divert quickly back down to the tables and she pushes one of the papers into a new position and then fidgets with its corners. He just looks deeply lost for a moment before he sighs, waking up from whatever memory was just brought out of him.

Strange Man: "You know, I just realised we haven't properly introduced ourselves to our alien guest."

The woman is taken aback.

Strange Woman: "Och! Ye dinnae introduce yerself when yer met him? Mark. You are forgetting yer manners the older ye get."

She approaches Gamma and curtsies, lifting the sides of her dress and making a pretty, little bow.

Strange Woman: "I'm Iseult, Princess of Ireland. Even though I feel more Scottish than Irish half the time."

Gamma did detect a slight strangeness in her accent that seems different than other members of Arthur's crew, though Gamma has found many odd accents all over the place. A group seemed to be from the south of England and have similar sounding voices, while others hale from Cornwall, like this man, others yet from northern lands in England. Further still are lands named Wales, Ireland and Scotland - all of which have several accents of their own. But the hardest weren't the accents, truly, it is the dialect and when these people start talking to each other they spout the most unusual words and Gamma has no hope of keeping up with their gibberish. Sometimes he's certain he speaks better English than these supposed native speakers.

Iseult: "And this insane but incredibly charming man is my husband, King Mark of Cornwall."

Gamma looks up at Mark in surprise.

Gamma Pans: "Another king?"

King Mark chuckles and his bright eyes twinkle.

King Mark: "That's right. I know it must be confusing to someone alien to our culture. I am King of Cornwall. It's a... sub-kingdom of Arthur's kingdom. I am... vassal to King Arthur."

Gamma Pans frowns. These aliens and their strange ways.

Gamma Pans: "I... see. I think."

King Mark sweeps his arm around Gamma again. Gamma's shoulders are much higher than most humans' but Mark is taller than most and manages to comfortably rest his hand upon Gamma's left shoulder and steer him towards the tables where Iseult is standing.

Queen Iseult: "We were thinking our knowledge of agriculture is really limited to just Earth and perhaps ye, being from Saturn, might be able to give us some more insight!"

Mark adjusts the thin hat he wears, which Gamma now recognises has a crown attached to it while the middle of the crown is a black felt material to cover his hair. He has a slight hunch that seem to degrade him and make him more accessible to those that meet him, especially given his friendly nature and lack of pomposity or the arrogance of Arthur. Truly, Gamma suspects, Mark has made himself a king for the people rather than a king to rule over them. He puts his long fingers upon one of the drawings,

King Mark: "Most of these drawings have been made by Sir Gawain-- speaking of whom."

He looks up from the papers to see a knight approaching. This knight is wearing leather armour, thick than the thick suits of armour most knights are wearing, and over it is a pale green tabard with white checkers. He tabard seems almost robe-like, extending right down to the floor and is much thicker than the others'. His hair is muddy blonde and very untidy, looking like he may have cut it himself when it got in his eyes too much. In some way he actually looks quite like Arthur and Gamma Pans is left wondering as to the boy's lineage.

Sir Gawain: "Hello there Custodian. I'm Sir Gawain. It's an honour to meet you. We did briefly meet each other on Saturn during the battle against the G-Kryptons. Quite a city that was. It's a shame the entire affair ended so..."

Gamma Pans: "Badly?"

He gives an uncertain wince.

Sir Gawain: "I suppose. It was very confusing. I'd just started to learn some local cuisine too. That strange fish you cook was really tasty."

Gamma Pans: "We... don't eat... fish..."

The knight looks panicked.

Sir Gawain: "Uh... now I'm worried about what I was eating..."

King Mark: "I haven't seen old Palamedes for a while..."

Gawain blanches.

Iseult shakes her head, both at her husband's teasing and at Gawain's gullibility.

Queen Iseult: "He's just joshing, ye daft git."

King Mark: "Come on, lad, I'm sure it was just some local wildlife you were chomping on."

Gawain nods, though his face is still white.

King Mark: "It didn't taste like pork, did it?"

Mark's voice is inquisitorial but even Gamma could tell he's continuing his little jibe.

Sir Gawain: "A-a little! It was fishy but yes! Also a bit like pork! Does that mean--"

Queen Iseult: "You didn't eat Sir Palamedes. I saw him just a few hours ago on his way to look at the engines."

King Mark: "Ah. Mystery solved! Then again, I haven't seen Sir--"

Queen Iseult: "And here comes the Greene Knight."

They all look over to yet another knight approaching them. This knight is short but fairly bulky - though Gamma Pans realises that his armour is incredibly bulked up itself. He wears no tabard and his armour is entirely green - such as dark green that it is almost black. His armour features two large shoulder paldrons and large, heavy gauntlets that are probably very difficult to move in. Gamma instantly recognises that this man is not of the same lands as everyone else. His skin is not white, nor is it black or brown, but instead it is yellow and his eyes appear to have a distinct narrowing at the corners that makes his face all the more striking when he stands amongst the pale-skinned humans. Under his arm he holds his helmet, which has two long, red feathers protruding from it. Upon his face he has similar red marking around his eyes that must be created from paint. His hair is short on top but long at the back, tied into a small, thin tail. His hair is also a strange colour - green.

Just went Gamma had been thinking he had seen all humanity had to offer.

King Mark: "This is the Greene Knight. Uniquely suited to help us in our arboreal challenges ahead."

Sir Greene Knight: "I think Sir Gawain would be more... useful, in all honesty. I can help in the beginning, certainly, but it's Sir Gawain's knowledge of plants that will prove most useful in the long term..."

Sir Gawain: "Wow! Thanks! Coming from you that means a lot!"

The young Gawain swells with pride, a huge beaming smile on his face.

King Mark: "Well, I expect we'd all be dead during our first few days without you, Greene Knight. But you are quite right. Gawain, your services are invaluable."

Sir Gawain: "Thank you, Your Highness."

He bows.

King Mark: "Just don't eat any more knights, okay?"

Gawain's smile instantly turns down into a frown and he actually looks like he might cry. The Greene Knight actually gives Gawain a stare of anger, as though he also believes the words of the king.

King Mark: "I'm just teasing you, Gawain. Relax."

The Greene Knight also relaxes and Gamma wonders what his function actually is here.

Gamma Pans: "So... what can I do to help you?"

Queen Iseult: "As I said, alien worlds have different biology than ours. Wherever we settle, we'll need to think in new ways. We can't stick to our own understanding of Earth biology. So some understanding of the biology on your world will help us!"

Gamma Pans: "Okay, I see. But even if you find a new world to settle, I doubt the biology there would be anything like Saturn or Earth..."

Mark pats Gamma gently on the back.

King Mark: "And you looked a little lonely out there by yourself."

Gamma is embarrassed by the truth of that and disturbed that others had noticed it.

Gamma Pans: "Oh! I was- I was alright by myself. Just getting used to things here, you know?"

He looks are the strange vegetation that seems to be the foodstuff of Earth - or at least of Britannia.

Gamma Pans: "But I'm more than happy to help! I think doing something will help me to understand humans better, right?"

King Mark: "That's the spirit! First we should tell you what plants we have onboard that we'll be trying to sow on our new alien farms! Ever heard of a turnip? Sir Bedivere swears by them."

Gamma Pans: "Is it anything like lettuce?"

Maybe these people smell less like lettuce and more like turnips then.

Sir Gawain: "This could take some time..."

Then a voice echoes through the room. It's the voice of Tom a'Lincoln, the Red Rose Knight.

Tom a'Lincoln: "Everybody, prepare to jump."

Everyone groans with annoyance. Nobody likes to jump on this infernal machine. They all go to the walls and line up, ready to be glued in place for an uncomfortable minute or two.

Arthur leans upon the wall of the walkway, which is made of the bronze-coloured magical material, and gazes up at the snowflake-shaped construct. It's certainly pretty to look at but he can't make neither heads nor tails of what it actually is.

Sir Bedivere: "Do your people know where this spacecraft came from?"

The Fayrie King nods and, like Arthur, leans upon the balcony - careful not to shove his hairy hands into the blue vines that are creeping even all the way up here. Arthur takes that as a testament to the history of these processors - the plants have managed to grow so, so high up its walls.

Fayrie King: "It's from your world, I believe."

The humans all look at each and frown.

King Arthur: "It can't be, we're the first!"

Prince Mordred: "Uh, except we found our spaceship, remember?"

King Arthur: "Oh yeah..."

Fayrie King: "It's all ancient history now. And I mean incredibly ancient history. We are beings of magic, native to Uranus, and the people of Earth came to our world and showed us such magical wonders we were astounded... even humiliated that they could understand us better than we understood ourselves. We already had a lot of techniques for using and generating aether or vril but these humans from Earth showed us how to improve our machinations and were the first to teach us of the orichalcum that they were using for everything."

King Arthur: "Could he mean... the Egyptians? They do have those weird pyramid things there, right? Someone told me that once."

Sir Bedievere: "I believe that was me. That's about as ancient as our history goes, so perhaps it was them."

Fayrie King: "I have no idea what an Egyptian was, but I don't remember there being talk of pyramids from my lessons as a child... or in the archives, though I haven't exactly studied much history for a... long time. Anyway. That ship is also made entirely of magic."

Sir Bedivere: "So it's made of orichalcum?"

Fayrie King: "No... that would be this stuff."

He tapped his knuckles against the hard, smooth material of the walkway wall. He then points at the snowflake ship.

Fayrie King: "That is more akin to magic as energy. Plasma. Whatever people call it these days. It's simply magic itself - aether processed and turned into an energy state."

Sir Bedivere: "If it's energy then how could it be a spaceship?"

Fayrie King: "They didn't reveal all their secrets. Just enough to help their primitive neighbours."

King Arthur: "Did you just neigh again?"

Fayrie King: "I'm a zebra, not a horse. I believe I did mention this..."

King Arthur: "I forget things."

The zebra-head nods sagely.

Fayrie King: "Me too."

They stand, side by side, looking up at the snowflake.

Fayrie King: "Do you think a lot of humans would like to come and... look at this thing?"

Sir Bedivere: "Probably."

Fayrie King: "Maybe we could build something here? For guests, I mean! I have heard of tourism from out on other fayrie colonies. Perhaps that could work here!"

Just as an old spark of innovation finally hits a single member of the fayrie species, Monde's voice drones from inside.

Monde: "It is almost time for your nap-nap."

Fayrie King: "Right. Time for me to go."

King Arthur: "You know, you don't have to do what the machine tells you to do, right?"

The alien king stops and seems to ponder this, as though it's an entirely new revelation to him.

Fayrie King: "But Monde knows what's best for us to live long and healthy lives. I think I had best follow its instructions. If I don't, I might become sleep deprived!"

He shuffles slowly back inside.

Fayrie King: "Come now, we should get you to the roof so that you can be collected by your friends. If they did travel here in your vessel... otherwise it's going to be a long wait for you."

Arthur stumbles backward and lashes out to grab a hold of one of the straps hanging from the ceiling. Once his composure is regained, his anger hadn't.

King Arthur: "Who in the in name of Christ is flying this thing!?"

The knights aboard the space boat wince at their king's blasphemy but then wince at the potential anger he might exhibit once they tell him who's piloting.

King Arthur: "Well!?"

Sir Kay: "It's that pillock, Sir Robin, Arthur. I told them not to let the imbecile near the sticks but they wouldn't listen to me. Said he's so keen, and it's a simple trip, what's the worst he could do?"

Sir Robin, from up front, shouts back;

Sir Robin: "It's alright, mi-liege! I got this now! Jus' takes a a bit of gettin' used too, innit?"

Arthur sours. He only let Sir Robin into his band of merry men because Robin is the prince of a Scottish king. Keeping the Scots in line by letting their prince on the round table seemed like a good idea at the time. Any prince of Scotland should have been an asset... then Sir Robin showed up two planks short.

The ship wobbles.

Sir Robin: "Aye, that's how it works then? Jus' move this thing about. Like this."

The ship wobbles again.

King Arthur: "Someone forcibly remove him from the cockpit before I do."

Sir Robin: "Oh eh! What's this button do!?"

There's a sudden whoosh of air that fills the ship, coming from the cockpit. Arthur and Kay rush to the front and peer up out of the hole in the cockpit roof. There they see the seat and Sir Robin whizzing upwards and away from the ship.

There's a moment of silence.

Sir Kay: "A noble and honorable death... that's what we tell them..."

Another prolonged silence.

Then Arthur finally groans as he hears Robin's squeals from somewhere outside.

King Arthur: "Steer the ship so that he lands on the roof again and he can crawl inside..."

Sir Kay: "We could be rid of him..."

King Arthur: "I know... I know... but... I couldn't do that. Come on, Mordred. You give it a try."

Prince Mordred: "But I've only had a couple of lessons!"

King Arthur: "Show me what those lessons have taught you. Don't worry. Just do your best..."

Sir Kay: "Hopefully his best isn't enough."

King Arthur: "Then at least we tried, right?"

Prince Mordred: "So if he dies, it's my fault?"

King Arthur: "Never! If you fail, it's nobodies fault. We're not perfect beings, are we? We can only try our best!"

Mordred slinks into the co-pilot seat, relieving the original pilot of his duty. The pilot could have done this easily enough but nobody wants this to be so easy, do they?

Mordred steers the ship upwards. The seat has expelled a sheet that seems to be making Sir Robin's descent slower and easier to track. Much to Sir Kay's disappointment. Sir Galahad leans over the second control bank to help Mordred while Arthur and Kay go back into the waiting area of the boat to talk about the happenings on the planet, chatting away as though Sir Robin were in no danger and everyone is on a jolly trip home.

The ship rises and rises until the seat is just above and slowly floating down towards them.

Sir Robin: "Hey lads! Nice to ya again! Guess we know what that button does now, eh!?"

Sir Galahad: "Uh... Mordred..."

Prince Mordred: "What?"

He looks up to see Galahad staring through the hole at Sir Robin.

Sir Galahad: "I think... I think he's going to--"

Galahad leaps aside as Sir Robin abruptly drops in through the hole, having ditched his seat. There's an audible snap and a scream of agony.

Sir Galahad: "Why did you jump!!? We were coming up to get you!"

Sir Robin: "Thought it'd be quicker, right? Blimely mi bloody leg! Christ! I think I'm dying!"

There's a soft 'woohoo' from somewhere in the back.

Prince Mordred: "What do we do, Galahad!?"

Sir Galahad: "Uh... urm... I remember Sir Gawain taught me some things... let me try to... push it back."

Sir Robin: "Eh!? Push it back!? You've gotta be mucking mi about!? You'll make it worse!"

Arthur suddenly appears.

King Arthur: "There, there man. Be brave! If you become a cripple, we'll make sure you're looked after. Go ahead, Sir Galahad... do your best."

Sometime later, in the docking bay, Sir Gawain and Merlin are waiting to tend to Sir Robin's legs. Luckily Sir Galahad had saved the leg, or unluckily depending on who you ask, and Sir Robin would just need some time before he's back on his feet and ruining everyone's day.

He's carried by Sir Kay and Sir Lancelot, the whole while him whimpering about his poor, old foot. Unlike the other two men, Sir Robin is very scrawny. He has a rough beard that looks like it's desperately trying to be manly but failing to be more than scruff.

King Arthur: "Any information on that spaceship, Sir Red Rose Knight?"

Tom a'Lincoln: "Not really. It's definitely a derelict. It looks like there's pieces missing from the structure. Merlin said it should be symmetrical, so based on that we can tell what parts are missing. She, Morganna, Caelia -- all the magical users, they've all had a good look and a... a feel? They can feel the magic. It's very strong, very potent. Morganna, especially, says it definitely feels like Earth magic but she says it's ridiculously old. Impossibly old, actually."

King Arthur: "Anyway of boarding it?"

Tom a'Lincoln: "None that we can see. Morganna thinks you'd probably need some magical skill to phase through the magical shell. Inside she thinks could be perfectly solid - protected by the magical energy field. In fact she's fancying up that inside could be magically projected too, so it wouldn't look as boring and bare as our ship."

King Arthur: "But it is from Earth? How can that be!? Did Sir Caelia mention anything about her people and this?"

They begin walking out of the hangar area, which is incredibly large and spacious so that dozens and dozens of the space boats can be lined up. They suddenly stop when they find one boat crashed into a wall.

Arthur looks at Tom.

Tom a'Lincoln: "I'm told it was Sir Robin..."

Without further question they keep walking.

Tom a'Lincon: "The Aes Sidhe have confirmed a story amongst them of a lost prince called Oberon who married a human girl and fled Albion. With the help of the humans he left the Earth to travel the stars with his bride. So they say, at least. They maintain it's a common story with many swearing it's based on truth. How much is true and what is legend, they don't know, but here we are with a magical ship from Earth and the story seems to back it up..."

King Arthur: "Can't any of our magic users phase inside and... poke about? There could be some great stuff over there!"

Tom a'Lincoln: "Nobody is willing, Sire."

They start walking up the stairs.

King Arthur: "What? Why!?"

Tom a'Lincoln: "Morganna says it'd be crazy dangerous, while Caelia says she and her people would find it... offensive to go there. So she doesn't want to go."

King Arthur: "We're going to miss out on a grand opportunity to... to..."

Tom a'Lincoln: "Loot?"

King Arthur: "Learn stuff! I mean, what happened to it? Why's it derelict?"

Tom a'Lincoln: "I wonder if there's a connection between it and our ship... since ours was found on Earth. But it looks quite unlike that one..."

King Arthur: "Indeed..."

King Arthur: "End of the journey! Looks like we're blasting out of the solar system next! Best tell that half-naked woman she'll have to take her space boat back to that clone ship she called Hopeless!"

Merlin: "She calls it The Hopeful, Sire."

Tom a'Lincoln: "Actually there is another planet, Sire..."

King Arthur: "What!?"

Merlin sighs.

Merlin: "It's not a planet, Sire, it's just a big rock."

Tom a'Lincoln: "It is a planet. It's called Pluto. It's right here in the data logs."

Merlin: "The logs don't consider it a planet, Red Rose Knight. It's two big rocks, one is Pluto and one is Charon. They're flying around each other. They're just grandiose asteroids. They're in the Kuiper Belt!"

King Arthur: "Whose belt!?"

Merlin: "Uh... it's the asteroid belt beyond Neptune. There's one between Mars and Jupiter too, but we skipped that one thanks to the Jupiterians. Now we just have to look at this Kuiper Belt. But really, it'd be very dangerous to go there."

King Arthur: "Why?"

Merlin: "Lots and lots of rocks."

King Arthur: "Space rocks are very boring..."

He glances up at Andy, who's silently standing in their company.

King Arthur: "Present company excluded, Andy."

He wiggles his fingers at Arthur - Andy's all-encompassing expression of understanding, cheerfulness, greetings, or other well-intentioned feelings that the rockman might be experiencing.

King Arthur: "Okay! Skip it! Let's get out of this system and seek out new worlds and new civilisations! To boldy go--"

Sir Bedivere: "To go boldy, Sire."

King Arthur: "Uh, what? Why?"

Sir Bedivere: "Split infinitives."

Gamma Pans: "English is a very difficult language."

King Arthur growls.

King Arthur: "Alright, alright. Someone tell the big-bosomed lass to get off my ship. We're going where no man ha--"

Merlin: "Or woman!"

King Arthur: "Yes... where no one has gone before!"

Gamma Pans: "Shouldn't that be 'has gone to'? Or maybe has been?"

King Arthur: "What? No! Maybe? I don't know! Who cares! We're going! Just get Lady No-pants off the ship first before she thinks we're kidnapping her!"

Down in the hangar, having left the Command Deck in the somewhat capable hands of the king, Merlin is standing with Admiral Ltexi.

Merlin: "I've really enjoyed your company, Ltexi. I think I've learnt a lot."

Admiral Ltexi: "Of course you have! I am a great teacher after all!"

She grins.

Admiral Ltexi: "But you are a great student too. So there's that. But I guess everything comes to an end. In all honesty I'm desperately craving for cinnabuns. And a nice bed. Our beds are wonderful, I have to tell you. Things hard surfaces on this ship -- pitiful. My back is killing me."

Merlin: "You are rather top-heavy--"

Merlin's eyes stare.

Merlin: "I've heard that can give you back pain..."

Admiral Ltexi: "Then I'd say we're biologically superior because they don't give me back pain... thsoe stupid beds do. Anyway. I hope you learn more about this ship, Merlin. One day maybe I'll come and find you in my own ship and we can compare notes!"

Merlin bounces with excitement at the idea.

Merlin: "I'd love that! I'm so happy I'll see you again, Miss Ltexi!"

Admiral Ltexi: "Alright, calm down. If I bounced like that, I'd give myself a black eye. Yeesh."

She turns to her own ship, ready to leave Camelot.

Then a voice sounds over the speakers.

Tom a'Lincoln: "Prepare to jump."

Admiral Ltexi: "Oi! I haven't left yet!"

Then Arthur's voice blurts out through the speakers;

King Arthur: "Admiral Thunder-pants, you're too slow wherever you are! You'll have to come back here by yourself once we stop!"

Admiral Ltexi: "You stupid swine, you can check the systems to see where I am! And hear me. Your king is a moron! Men are morons! No man should be left to run a ship, let alone a realm!"

The two of them run for the walls and are dragged the rest of the way as the ship enters its jump phase. The world around them turns to blue, then red.

But what Arthur didn't know is that Pluto is not just a boring old rock in space at all. In fact it is regularly known as the "Party Planet" and a major tourist destination for sentient beings from around the entire NeSiverse who are looking to get their groove on. Forever missed opportunities...


Britt's Commentary


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