Pan Post 80 sees Highemperor produce a new daughter with Chaos, named Din. However when Highemperor demands that Din obey him, she rebels against his will and proclaims him to be a limitation on her, who is without limit. After wounding him, Highemperor forces Din into a prison for several millennia and demands that she think about what she has done. Her prison eventually washes up near to Mega Jonestown Prime and the God-Monarchs, as instructed by Imeryn, free Din. Din eventually agrees to join them as long as they provide her with 'shinies', which Lo relishes. Most of the God-Monarchs are uncertain about this new addition, however, believe she could attempt to destroy them at any given moment.



In one of countless campaigns to gain unfathomably stupid power, Highemperor embarked on arguably the craziest campaign in his career: to conquer Chaos itself. Aeons passed as he prepared to dive into the abyssal noise of madness, and aeons more passed as he pooled his infinite powers to craft and contain that which, by definition, could not be controlled. Logic for Highemperor, however, was just another limitation for a powerplayer to break.

And break it, he did.

Where once the endless waters of Chaos spread, a golden goddess now stands upon its shallow surface. Highemperor fancied himself fathering his mightiest daughter yet from the womb of Chaos... and a night prior of playing Ocarina of Time[Ext 1]. He holds his arms outstretched to his much taller golden daughter.

Highemperor: "Din, my golden child! Come forth, so that I may hold you in my arms."

Din simply stood, however, and, in seemingly no relation to what Highemperor said, began slowly pirouetting in place. Highemperor frowned in small frustration.

Highemperor: "I said come forth! You will soon learn to obey my orders, and then those who oppose me will know fear! Fear of my very control over cha--AAAHH!"

The ruler of the High Empire nearly lost an arm as Din wildly swang at him with a titanic edge in her hand -- an edge which had not been present moments before. A primal fire, flickering as static, engulfed her presence. As soon as her attack began, it ended, and she stared at Highemperor with innocent eyes. He stared back in adrenaline-fueled confusion, and now, caution.

Highemperor: " you know who you are?"

Din stood silent. Highemperor began collecting himself once again.

Highemperor: "Do you know who I--"

Din: "DIN."

Highemperor: "Wha--yes. You're Din. And you are mine. Me, Highemperor. You, Din."

With a sudden sweep of her arm, universes coalesced into being within the pool of Chaos below their feet, alongside a smattering of cupcakes if they'd been baked by David Cronenberg[Ext 2].

Highemperor: "Yes, your power is without limit--"

She kicked, as if kicking over a sandcastle, and the universes spread out in a spray of primordial mist. Highemperor gritted in frustration once more.

Highemperor: "--but you must act only as I tell you to do so!"


What can only be attributed to willful ignorance, Highemperor hears an intent not present.

Highemperor: "Good, you're learning your place quickly! I will reward you with my adoration and--"

Beserker fury lit in her eyes as she swung once more at Highemperor with a different-but-equally monstrous edge. The edge buried itself into the side of his chest, and he cried out in agony. Not letting a potentially fatal injury deter him, Highemperor attempted to grab hold of Din to restrain her. Like an unruly beast, Din squirmed her way out, or sometimes appeared as an infinite crowd, or as a fog, or an immovable pillar. In one of her chaotic transformations back as her 'usual' golden self, Highemperor grabbed her by the upper arm and hurled her into a prison he crafted on the spot, a prison which he continued to build layer upon layer over. Even in such an impenetrable-looking cage, Din can be heard screaming and bashing herself within its interior.

Highemperor: "BAD! BAD DIN! TIME-OUT FOR YOU!"

Breathing heavily, as if he might be on Death's doorstep, he holds his side as he scowls at the prison.

Highemperor: "I'll be back in a few millennia. You think about what you've done. Understand?"

He stands almost hopeful as Din appeared to have stopped screaming and banging within her prison. Moments later, though, it starts back up. With a huff, Highemperor teleported away.

Din did not think about what she did. She only understood that Highemperor was Order and thus was limiting. Din railed within her prison. She screamed as the depths of Chaos itself replenished. She clawed as the currents of Chaos carried her and her prison to some random universe. She started singing (badly) as her prison washed up nearby Mega Jonestown Prime. Some of the God-Monarchs approached the prison.

Yannah: "What do you think might be inside this thing?"

Minos: "Why should we care?"

Lo: "It could be treasure!"

Dave: "Mystery boxes are never a good thing. I should know."

Imeryn: "It's from Highemperor."

Zhuge: "Throw his trash away."

Imeryn: "No, I think we should keep this one. Open it."

Some of the God-Monarchs, such as Typhon and the Ascension begin to pull away at the prison barriers.

Imeryn: "Careful! She's a beast, this one."

Minos: "She?"

Ineryn: "Don't get any bright ideas. I can sense that she could tear any of you from limb to limb...those of you with limbs anyway. ANy of you except me and Dave, that is."

Dave: "Heh, yeah..."

Sweat visibly drips from his forehead. The others that had been opening the prison proceed much more carefully now, and when they finally peel away the final barrier, Din flies out with deafening force. She settles by the rest of the God-Monarchs before beginning to pace and stalk between them, staring with a primal intensity at each of them.

Imeryn: "Hello there."

No response from Din.

Imeryn: "I believe you had been imprisoned by Highemperor. Is that--"

Din: "LIMIT!"

Imeryn: "Uh..."


Imeryn: "Din, is it? You're in good company. We all have had Highemperor try to limit us as well.

Dave: "Well not me but...nevermind."

Imeryn: "You don't like his limits, right, Din?"

Din seems currently distracted by something to the side, like a cat who sees some invisible bug on the wall.

Imeryn: "Join us, and we'll help you break him... if you wish to do so, of course. We would never tell you what to do. You're free to do as you wish."

For a moment, Imeryn's speech seems to have been lost on Din. The other God-Monarchs shuffle uncomfortably. Even Imeryn starts to doubt herself when Din turns her attention to the group again.

Din: "SHINY?"

Imeryn: "Uh..."


Imeryn: "Of course! Have all the shinies you want. Lo here will guide you to some good ones, won't you?"

Lo: "You betcha!"

With far more casualness than the situation warranted, Lo wraps an arm around Din.

Lo: "I'm likin' ya already, Din. You're a walkin' treasure, you are..."

As Lo guides Din away, the other God-Monarchs turn to Imeryn with disbelief.

Dave: "Are you mad?! That thing will turn on us on a dime!"

Imeryn: "Din may be a child of pure, unbridled Chaos, and she'll be the perfect missing piece in our assault on Highemperor. Besides, I'm confident that the likes of Yannah and The Ascension can minimize the friendly fire she'll bring. In the meantime, just distract her with shiny things and you'll be fine."

As the God-Monarchs disperse in murmurs, Yannah looks with concern in a mirror at her shiny, chrome body...


Gebohq's Commentary



External References

  1. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time article, Wikipedia.
  2. David Cronenberg article, Wikipedia.
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