In Pan Post 76 the crew of Camelot have arrived at Uranus along with Admiral Ltexi. They discover massive orbital machines that are pumping aether from the atmosphere to produce magical fuel for sale around the Multiverse. Once down on the planet they discover that the air stinks terribly because of the high-concentration of aether and the processing plants. Inside they meet with Nerifan, a fayrie, who has a donkey-head and a humanoid body. He's a magical being that tells King Arthur and his group that there is a nexus upon the planet that was crafted long ago by the "god of all magic" when Earth was taken from him. He then commits to introducing them to the Fayrie King, a descendent of the HorseGod.


Space Camelot: Onwards to Uranus

As Space Camelot nears the next planet, Uranus, Merlin and Sir Bedivere watch carefully through the viewports.

Sir Bedivere: How peculiar! There are all manner of contraptions floating over the planet.

Merlin: They seem to be manmade. And look! Great tubes connecting them down to the surface. I wonder why.

Sir Bediverse: Perhaps stairs to ascend and descend to and from the surface? Though that would be quite a climb.

Admiral Ltexi: Those are orbital mining stations. Those 'tubes' are pipes that funnel up the ambient aether of Uranus--

Sir Kay snorts. Admiral Ltexi continues without missing a beat, unperturbed.

Admiral Ltexi: --to be processed and shipped to customers who desire magical fuel.

Merlin: Is there no magic beyond the solar system?

She looks horrified at the thought.

Morganna: Don't be daft, Baldy. Magic is everywhere. But the aether may be...thinner...beyond Earth.

Sir Caelia: Not on Uranus. The aether here is nearly as pure and plentiful as Earth's. There's a nexus down there somewhere, generating it.

She wrinkles her nose, as if sniffing something.

Sir Caelia: It's still different from Earth's aether...but I can't quite put my finger on it.

Shortly, the knights are in their space boat, alighting on a landing pad.

King Arthur: A new world! Full of glories and wealth!

Sir Galahad: And honor!

Sir Lancelot: And wenches!

Sir Bedivere: If the wenches are anything like Saturn's, you may not be so eager.

Sir Mordred: At least it can't smell worse than Saturn.

The space boat's door opens, and the warm breeze blows into their faces.

Sir Mordred: ...I was wrong!

Sir Caelia: Oh, THAT'S what's different about the aether here!

So saying, the woman steps sprightly off the space boat, and reluctantly, the knights follow, despite their gagging. The air of Uranus smells like farts!

Determined not to be outdone by anyone, King Arthur quickly takes the lead, marching down the street.

Morganna: Brother dear. Their castle is the other way.

Without missing a beat, Arthur does an about-face and marches towards the largest building of the city. Like the other structures here, it is taller than it is wide, and sways slightly in the fart-scented breezes. Blue vines and moss crawl over the exterior surfaces.

Arthur marches through the door.

King Arthur: The king has arrived!

The being sitting behind the desk in front of him, looks up at him. A name badge is affixed to his lapel, and it reads 'Nerifian'.

Nerifian: He has?! I didn't even know he left!

From behind Arthur, Sir Bedivere calls out.

Sir Bedivere: That is, the visiting king of another realm has arrived.

Nerifian: Ah! Dignitaries! Greetings, your majesty.

Arthur is too flummoxed to respond for a moment, and finally recovers speech.

King Arthur: You' ASS!

Nerifian, who is standing up behind the desk, is taken aback.

Nerifian: I BEG your pardon?!

Merlin: Please forgive us, sir. The king is merely expressing his delight at seeing a new race for the first time, one with a donkey's head.

For indeed Nerifian, though human (or at least humanoid) from the neck down, has the head of an ass. He neighs irritably.

Nerifian: I see. I suppose we fayries aren't as widespread as we would like to be.

King Arthur: Fairies with asses' heads?!

Sir Caelia: Fayries, sire. Not fairies or faeries.

The look of confusion on Arthur's face does not clear.

Sir Caelia: Different spellings.

King Arthur: Ah!

Admiral Ltexi saunters in. Nerifian brightens to see her.

Nerifian: Ah! My Lady Admiral! So good to see you. You must forgive me, I'm greeting these royal dignitaries.

Admiral Ltexi: They're with me.

King Arthur: We are not. She's with us!

Ltexi and Nerifian both ignore him.

Nerifian: Ah! That's alright then. Did you not school them on the fayries before bringing them here?

King Arthur: We brought HER here.

Admiral Ltexi: And miss the opportunity to see their faces? I should think not!

Nerifian: Odd, though. I thought all Jovians knew of the fayries. We are virtually next door neighbours after all.

Admiral Ltexi: They're not Jovians! How can you possibly confuse us?

Nerifian: You all look the same to me.

Admiral Ltexi: I should say not! We Jovians are prime specimens of beauty and handsomeness! Not like these human peasants!

Nerifian: Well, you all have those funny little heads, and tiny buttocks...

It's true. Nerifian - and presumably the other ass-headed fayries - have incredibly substantial asses. It's a rapper's wet dream.

Nerifian: Wait, did you say humans? Have you been to Earth? Your race is just about the only one that can visit our sister planet without some sort of uncanny misfortune.

King Arthur: We're FROM Earth.

Nerifian: I see! I've always wished to visit it. So rich in magic, I hear!

Sir Caelia: Your own world is rich in magic. Albeit, not as rich, nor as, shall I say, clean.

Nerifian scrunches his brow.

Nerifian: Have the street-cleaners gone on strike AGAIN?

Merlin: So you fayries are the equivalent of fairies and faerie on Earth? Beings that thrive off magic?

Nerifian: Quite so. Tis why we sell aether in large quantities throughout the galaxies. Creates a tidy profit AND spreads concentrations of aether to other planets, enabling us to visit or even settle them.

Sir Mordred: Does the stink go along with your shipments?

Nerifian looks blankly at Sir Mordred.

Sir Mordred: Nevermind.

Sir Bediverse: Why is there such a strong concentration of magic here though? Saturn was weaker, and according to the admiral's anecdotes--

Admiral Ltexi: They were facts, not 'anecdotes'.

Sir Bedivere: Magic is generally weaker beyond Earth.

Nerifian: Legend says that, billions of years ago, the god over all magic brooded here, having lost his prized planet Earth in a failed wager. Here he looked longingly at Earth and dreamed up ways to get it back, and finally tried to replicate its nexes here.

Morganna: He seems to have had some success.

Sir Caelia: Some. But I can only sense one great nexus.

Nerifian: Most worlds do not have a great nexus at all! Now we have dithered too long. I must introduce you, as visiting royalty, to the Fayrie King - ruler by divine right, descended directly from the HorseGod!

Sir Mordred snorts.

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