Pan Post 156 takes place prior to the Time-Lock War between the High Empire and the God-Monarchs during a meal that Highemperor doesn't know would turn out to be his last. He is in a New Sima restaurant with Nahda, the leader of The Coordination. Highemperor is there for purely selfish gain of a new wife. He inquires after Nahda's family, who reveals that they all perished against the Omega Reich. Highemperor offers to bring them back to life but Nadha refuses that based on his religious belief in Nothing. Highemperor then asks about the current Minister of the Moment, the youngest ever, Minister Helanda. He wants to marry her and Nahda asserts he may do so and that it would be a great honour now that she is no longer minister. Highemperor then leaves suddenly, asserting he has other things to do. Minister Helanda then arrives in the restaurant as she has been re-elected.


The Last Supper

The night before the fateful cataclysm of ultimate epic battle between the ruler of the High Empire and the God-Monarchs of Mega Jonestown Prime, Highemperor had one last meal (a meal he didn't consider his last) with Nahda, the Head of State of the Coordination.

The words to follow are to be considered gospel, and certainly not a spur-of-the-moment rambling collaborated between Gebohq and Al Ciao the Writers.


Highemperor: "So, do you have any kids? Specifically, hot eligible bachelorettes."

Nahda: "I consider all those in the Coordination my children, though I'm afraid I do not have any that I have sired myself."

Within the finest restaurant of New Sima, a server refills Highemperor's ornate wine glass with ambrosia, and another refills Nahda's simple cup with water. The servers happen to look strikingly like Sean Connery[Ext 1] and Harrison Ford[Ext 2].

Highemperor: "How about sisters--uh--siblings, that is. Preferably much younger sisters."

Nahda: "All my family passed away long ago in the atrocities committed by the Omega Reich."

Despite Nahda's matter-of-fact tone, the servers' demeanor visibly sobers, and make their leave. Highemperor, for his part, remains unfazed by the former's statement.

Highemperor: "I could bring them back, you know. You must surely miss them--"

Nahda: "No."

A beat passes in the uncharacteristic refusal, and soon passes as Nahda returns to his usual friendly tone.

Nahda: "No thank you. Their paths are their own, and they have completed their path to Nothing."

Highemperor muses for a moment.

Highemperor: "A respectable (if infuriating) adherence to your 'capital-N' faith. Very well. So tell me about the minsters who serve you."

Nahda: "They don't serve me. If anything, I serve them."

Highemperor: "Details, details. I've heard that Minister Helanda has the prestige of being the youngest (and hottest) Minister of the Moment. Eighteen, yes?"

Nahda: "Her birthday was just this past week, yes. We celebrate our youth as the future of the Coordination."

Highemperor: "Is she looking to marry?"

Nahda: "As a matter of fact, Minister Helanda has been searching for a powerful and charismatic man to wed."

Highemperor: "You don't say..."

The ruler of the High Empire does everything in his power not to cackle with glee.

Highemperor: "So, hypothetically speaking, if I were to marry her, what is customary for weddings among your people? Do I need to offer seven cows to her father or the like?"

Nahda: "Cows?"

Highemperor: " not have cows?"

Nahda: "I think a simple ceremony would suffice."

Highemperor: "Ah, well, excellent then! You can be privy to the knowledge that I'll be sweeping her off her feet after our meal. We'll be married by Monday, then ruling the Coordination by Tuesday!"

Nahda: "I'm certain she'll be happy to have such a joyous event in her life now that she's no longer the Minister of the Moment?"

Highemperor: "Yes, of course! ...wait, what?"

Nahda: "She completed her term about ten seconds ago. I'm sure the next ten quadrillion ministers will have much to live up to."

Highemperor: "All very old people I'm sure."

Nahda: "It is customary for Ministers of the Moment to be venerable, yes."

The server who looks like Harrison Ford places the very expensive-looking roast beast brined in millennia-old Samanvay bourbon in front of Highemperor. His face appears very sour.

Nahda: "Is the dish not to your liking?"

Highemperor: "Huh? Oh,, it's fine, I'm sure. Just thinking about an upcoming military campaign, is all. Yes."

The ruler of the High Empire checks his bare wrist.

Highemperor: "Well, would you look at the time. I have a battle with the God-Monarchs of Mega Jonestown Prime to lead. Until next time... (when I'll conquer the Coordination)."

With a flourish of his cape, Highemperor disappears into thin air. Nahda sits alone at the table with two meals in front of him.

Just then, former-Minister Helanda runs up to Nahda.

Helanda: "Venerable Mayamanu, I have great news! I've been re-elected!"


External References

  1. Sean Connery article, Wikipedia.
  2. Harrison Ford article, Wikipedia.
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