Pan Post 154 takes place in the year 344 B.C. in Athens where Plato is instructing his student, Aristotle. Plato presents his theory of reality via the means of a chair. Aristotle is constantly on the lookout for a logic trap but is surprised when the chair is confirmed as a chair. But Plato goes on to explain that the chair is a chair because it is an imitation of THE chair. THE chair exists in the One True Realm and thus is it a chair in this reality. As per the Non-Story-Note, this is based on Plato's true theory of reality but in the context of the Never-ending Story it can be confirmed as this is the Story Realm based loosely on the real world.


Platonic Theory

The year is 344BC and the founder of the Platonic Academy in Athens is wistfully staring at the beautiful landscape from his balcony. Sitting nearby is a young man, one of Plato's most promising students.

Plato: "This material world around us is but a fiction, you see? It is merely an imitation of another world. A more divine world."

The young Aristotle, aged seventeen, frowns at his teacher.

Aristotle: "Can you elaborate?"

Plato walks over to the empty chair opposite Aristotle, where there is a small table square table stands in-between and a scrap of parchment with Aristotle's writing on it (actually a lot of it consists of grotesque and deformed renditions of Plato and a lot of penis doodles). The balcony is covered by a short stone roof to keep the sun off their heads and the sounds of crickets whirring their legs in cathartic song can be heard from the shrubbery below.

Plato: "Take this chair. What is it?"

Aristotle is instantly suspicious of a logic trap. He squints one eye at Plato and purses his lips, between his desperate young man's beard, into a twist. When Plato opens his right palm at Aristotle, the student sighs and answers with the obvious.

Aristotle: "A chair."

Plato: "Exactly."

Aristotle: "Oh!"

That was unexpected and Aristotle blinks as he recollects what just happened, looking for some hidden truth that he hadn't noticed the first time through the dialogue.

Plato: "But..."

Aristotle: "I knew there had to be a but coming."

Plato: "How do you know it is a chair?"

Aristotle: "Uh... because... it just... is a chair."

Plato: "Yes it is a chair. But what makes a chair?"

Aristotle considers.

Aristotle: "A chairier."

Plato: "Uh, what?"

Aristotle: "Someone who makes chairs must be a chairier!"

Plato: "That's not what I meant and I'm pretty sure it's a carpenter that makes chairs. Chairier isn't a real word."

Aristotle: "That doesn't make any sense. Shouldn't a carpenter be someone that makes carpets?"

Plato: "Okay, this isn't grammar class and we don't even speak English anyway! In fact English doesn't exist yet!"

Aristotle tuts and shakes his head in mock disapproval.

Aristotle: "Oooo, breaking the fourth wall Teacher!"

Plato: "I'm not breaking the fourth wall! I'm just stating an anachronism. If I break the fourth wall I'd point that them."

Plato points at you.

Aristotle: "Why do I feel like we've gone well off topic?"

Plato: "Because we have. So. This chair."

Aristotle: "Oh right! That's what we were talking about! The thrilling and important topic of the guy that makes chairs..."

Plato: "Why are you my favourite student again? I forget."

Aristotle: "Because I actually show up to class, unlike most students who just want to get a student loan for beer."

Plato promptly ignores Aristotle's smart-aleck remarks henceforth.

Aristotle: "My name isn't Aleck!"

Plato: "A chair is a chair because it is an imitation of THE chair."

Aleck: "THE chair? What ch-- wait, did my name just change to Aleck? I said my name isn't Aleck!"

Plato: "The concept, the idea, the nature, the soul of a chair is within the TRUE Realm. The One Realm."

Aristotle (temporarily named Aleck): "The One Realm to rule them--"

Plato: "The One Realm is the divine realm and everything within our world is but an imitation of The One."

Aristotle: "Okay. So the chair is a chair because the idea of the chair exists in The One and so the chair is, and always will be considered to be, a chair?"

Plato: "Exactly. The One contains the true form of the universe and realm of existence is mimicking it. This is where knowledge comes from!"

Aristotle: "Does that mean there's the one true penis in this--?"

Plato: "This is why you can't trust poets and they should be banned from Greece."

Aristotle: "Whoa, dude! That's quite a jump! What does that even mean? Why?"

Plato: "Poetry is falsehood. It is a pale imitation of our universe, which means it is an imitation of an imitation. It is twice removed from The One truth. Poetry is simply lying."

Aristotle: "I think you're officially off your rocker, fella."

NSN: This is based on actual Platonic theory[Ext 1] that there is a one true universe and that our reality is an imitation of that divine reality. In NeS constraints, this is actually plausible considering it is a reflection of the real world! Plato could well have started the theory of the Story! :)


External References

  1. Platonic Realism article, Wikipedia.
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