Pan Post 117 begins on Tatooine when Fladnag the White receives a communiqué from the Void Ranger Lobo Ono. He reports that the Derkesthai on Earth found thirteen hedrons but were not being disruptive and were coordinating with Hero Force. The Derkesthai leader, Dragonlord Riaken, is in orbit around Earth and gives the order to drop their special submarine into the Pacific Ocean. Marquis Rosslefot and HorseGod, both members of R.I.T.E., steer the submarine to the submerged city of Kumari Kandam. There, Derkesthai divers manoeuvred the thirteen hedrons into position around the ziggurat. Runekeeper then uses his magic to activate the hedrons. A shaft of energy pierces through the sun and on the opposite side of the star appears Mega Jonestown Prime. Fladnag the White contacts Minos Mootchief, of the Twelve God-Monarchs, and Minos requests that Fladnag continue his role. Several others take note of the return of Mega Jonestown Prime, including Ameryl Hypericum, Arm of The Imperium, who believes she must intervene in the inevitable battle between her twin sister, Imeryn Hypericum, and Highemperor of the High Empire and so she requisitions the God-Killer Machine. Likewise, Peysiant Guril, of the Pan-Cosmic Command and former lover of Ameryl, Imeryn and Highemperor, sets her ship, The PCC-Nullity, on course for Mega Jonestown Prime. Chimaat announces the return of the city to her father, Highemperor, and Carian Myste asserts that the hedrons will soak up the narrative energy and allow Highemperor to become the ultimate god.


The Return of Mega Jonestown Prime

In the palace of the Big O on Tatooine in the Outer Galaxies at the edge of the NeSiverse, Fladnag is taking a tea break. Naturally he is still working while sipping a concoction whose recipe was once shared with him by the Jade Emperor.

His earpiece pings, and he telekinetically flicks it to respond.

Fladnag the White: Void Ranger priority channel open. Fladnag speaking.

Lobo Ono: Vizier, the nonterrestrials you allowed through our perimeter around Earth have completed their excavation.

Fladnag the White: Did they find anything?

Lobo Ono: Yes, some Deus Ex Machines. Eleven of them, hedron style. Composition appears to be older than the NeSiverse, so they're not originally from Earth.

Fladnag the White: Hmm. And how did the Derkesthai know about these hedrons, much less exactly where to find them?

Lobo Ono: Apparently this was a site known to local authorities, before being buried in the Second Magical Cataclysm.

Fladnag the White: Ah yes. Curse Memnoch for not reining in those foolish Greys who still revere him.

Lobo Ono doesn't respond to that. Memnoch of course disavows the terrorist actions of the Latter-Day Greys, but they both know he approves their actions and probably was in fact the impetus behind them.

Fladnag the White: They haven't caused any disturbances?

Lobo Ono: No, they've been cooperative with Hero Force in maintaining a low profile and not creating any sort of stir. I think Hero Force's coordinator, DelphAI, is just as happy to get the Deus Ex Machines off her hands.

Fladnag the White: Very good. Keep me posted.

Lobo Ono: Roger. Over and out.

In orbit around Earth, cloaked beyond the ability of any modern terran scanners to detect, floats a gigantic space dragon, with a citadel perched upon its back. This is the mobile capital of the Derkesthai, a dragonlike humanoid species descended from the God-Monarch Typhon. The half-dragon, half-angel son of Typhon himself - Dragonlord Riaken - is there, viewing events through the many multicolored floating orbs in his command chamber.

Dragonlord Riaken: So all 13 hedrons are accounted for now, correct?

Draco-Qhobeg: Yes, milord. The party we sent to recover the other two from that former derelict was successful, despite their fears of the Salmitton Butt Death Curse.

Dragonlord Riaken: Likely as not the curse will still get them. Slip on a banana peel tomorrow or something.

Draco-Qhobeg: As you say, milord.

Dragonlord Riaken: Right then. Prepare the orbital submarine drop into the Pacific.

Draco-Qhobeg: Marquis Rosslefot awaits only your word, milord.

Dragonlord Riaken: The word is given.

The gigantic space dragon swoops through Earth's orbit until it is directly over a specific point in the Pacific Ocean. In a single massive claw it clutches a vaguely dragon-shaped submarine, powered by steampunk[Ext 1] technology. On cue, it drops the submarine precisely to its target.

The steampunk dragonlike submarine nosedives from orbit into the Pacific, the advanced Engine powering it - created by Marquis Rosslefot (from Discharding), recruited by Chronos (Earth god of time) - protecting it from the roughness of the landing.

HorseGod: So when does the orbital drop begin?

Marquis Rosslefot, who is steering the submarine, raises an aristocratic eyebrow at the HorseGod, who also works for RITE - a secretive, eclectic, and powerful organization working for the 12 God-Monarchs of Mega Jonestown Prime.

Marquis Rosslefot: We just landed in the Pacific. Didn't you feel it?

HorseGod: Oh, that? I've had liquor that gives more kick than that. I suppose I should tell ole dragonface that I'm okay.

He does just that through a comm unit.

Dragonlord Riaken: Thank you for checking in, HorseGod. 'Uncle' Minos wouldn't be happy to hear that I'd sent his favorite drinking buddy plummeting to his death.

Marquis Rosslefot: You should have more faith in Discharding engineering. If you didn't, why recruit me?

Riaken doesn't bother responding, signing off the comm, and Rosslefot rolls his eyes.

HorseGod: There!

He is looking through the periscope.

HorseGod: The ruins of Kumari Kandam are dead ahead. And there's an excellent ziggurat whose rooftop is mostly intact and clear of rubble.

Marquis Rosslefot: Excellent! I shall signal the Derkesthai deep-sea workmen!

Several Derkesthai swim out into the deeps, their draconically tough bodies easily able to withstand the pressure, so that they only wear rebreather masks for air, as they guide the 13 hedrons to stand on the top of the ancient ziggurat.

The undersea ruins of Kumari Kandam are all around them. Long ago, Kumari Kandam was a queendom on the continent of ancient Lemuria. But when the First Cataclysm of Magic happened - i.e. the catastrophic fall of Atlantis - Lemuria sunk into the ocean as well, despite being on the opposite side of the planet.

Most importantly, Kumari Kandam is on the opposite pole of the world from Seattle...where Bob Roberts' toilet is the new ultranexus of aetherial magic on both Earth and throughout the NeSiverse.

Marquis Rosslefot: An elegantly beautiful configuration, twelve circling around one. Not as charming as the hissing steam and varied pipework of Discharding's Engines, of course.

HorseGod: Yo Rieekan--

Dragonlord Riaken's voice hisses irritably back through the comm unit.

Dragonlord Riaken: It's RIAKEN. Why does everyone keep getting it wrong?

HorseGod: Sorry, Rieekan is a common name on Terra Flux, easy to mix up with yours.

Dragonlord Riaken: Whatever. Are the hedrons in place?

HorseGod: That they are. Work your magic, son.

All Derkesthai are arrogant and proud, and none more so than Riaken, who bristles at the cavalier tone in HorseGod's voice. But HorseGod is favored by his 'uncle' Minos Mootchief, one of his father Typhon's fellow God-Monarchs, so he lets it pass.

Dragonlord Riaken: Runekeeper. You know your place.

Runekeeper: Indeed.

The NeSiversian god of magic is still loyal to the 12 God-Monarchs, and has awaited their return all these eons. He now appears within the ring of hedrons and begans channeling his aetherial magic. In his war room, Riaken telekinetically hoists several of the multicolored orbs floating in the air, and they begin glowing brighter and spinning around him in a variety of arcs, as he mumbles incantations. Far below, atop the ruined undersea ziggurat, the 13 hedrons began glowing and pulsing with light and energy.

Above the waves, a massive hurricane brews, and as a gigantic pillar of energy shoots upward from the hedrons below, it spears through the eye of the hurricane, hidden from most senses and scanners on Earth thereby. When the pillar of energy hits the ionosphere, it refracts and is invisibly redirected to the sun, and THROUGH the sun, clear to the exact opposite side of Earth's orbit around the sun.

And there, Mega Jonestown Prime sparkles into existence, a massive space city returned from its extradimensional hiding place after untold millions of years. The aetherial potential of the ultranexus floods it, as the megalopolis of the God-Monarchs asserts its rightful place as center of the cosmos.

Runekeeper: Just as the hedrons were in the center of old Atlantis, now do they channel the ultranexus's power to center on Mega Jonestown Prime, as it should have done from the beginning, before that wretched WriterGod kicked us from our own planet.

HorseGod: Well, that's done. Time to go bar cruising with ole Minos again!

Across the multiverse, many powers take note of Mega Jonestown Prime's reappearance. Fladnag purses his lips, and informs the Big O, who doesn't notice, as he is too busy dallying with his Alien-Japanese-Expy concubines. Then the demigod super-mage hails the space megalopolis.

Minos Mootchief: --one moment, HorseGod, have a priority call. Fladnag, my man! Seems like you've been doing a good job while we were away!

Fladnag the White: My lord, I have striven my utmost to act as a good steward--

Minos Mootchief: Champion, just champion. Stellar work. Keep it up for a while longer, would you? We've got some important business of our own to take care of in the meantime.

Fladnag the White: As my lord commands--

Minos has already hung up. Fladnag suppresses a sigh. He didn't really think the God-Monarchs' return would change his role...and he is secretly glad, because as frustrating as his job is...he wouldn't trade it for the worlds.

Far away, in the war room aboard her flagship, the Lamb, an aide walks up to Ameryl, Arm of the Imperium, and whispers something urgently into her ear. She dismisses the aide with a nod of her head, then stands there silently for a moment.

Ameryl: Navigation.

Navigation Officer: Ma'am?

Ameryl: Set a course to rendezvous with the God-Killer Machine.

Navigation Officer: As ordered, ma'am.

Ameryl: Communications.

Communications Officer: Yes, ma'am?

Ameryl: Signal the God-Killer Machine that we will be rendezvousing with them, and to prepare for my boarding it.

Communications Officer: As ordered, ma'am.

Ameryl returns to silence, and her thoughts are dark. The past keeps trying to catch up to her. She wishes she could keep out of this, but the clearly-imminent conflict between Mega Jonestown Prime and the High Empire - between Imeryn and Highemperor - could be devastating to the multiverse without someone to step in.

In an even more distant plane, a flotilla of vessels orbits around a supply depot. The insignia of the Pan Cosmic Command is emblazoned on every ship and space station. Aboard the Nullity, which is little more than an empty bridge that somehow flies through its own power through the multiverse, Gul Moff Peasant Girl stands at attention, hands clasped behind her back.

There are no officers or crewmen, yet Peasant Girl receives the message nonetheless.

Peasant Girl: And so the end begins. All vessels, prepare a warp tether to the NeSiverse, and be ready to jump into battle at a moment's notice.

She pauses, and her next words are muttered only to herself.

Peasant Girl: Nothing will come of this...

On the very edge of creation lies Urbs Dei, capital of the High Empire. From the tiptop of the tallest tower of the Stronghold of Players in the grandiose city's center, Highemp sits in his throne, listening to his daughter Chimaat.

Chimaat: So I just remembered that we - the God-Monarchs I mean - returned to the NeSiverse today!

Knightlord Thorn: I don't suppose you know whether you're remembering the past or the future this time?

Chimaat: Nope!

Thorn suppresses the instinct to facepalm. Highemp's expression is exultant.

Highemp: Finally! And they're using the hedrons as well.

X: Little do they know just how much you've had your fingers in NeSiverse history. Setting things up for the ultimate climax!

Highemp: Indeed. I once thought the usurpation of bloodink alone would be enough. But now, unfettered by my limiting Potential, I have knowledge and ambition enough to drive the destinies of every universe!

Carian Myste: And when your hedrons have soaked up the narrative potential of our battle, they will be charged enough for you to become ultimate God and right every wrong ever in all Existence and Anti-Existentessence!

Quincy: I just hope some of these 'wrongs' include 'not enough porn'...


External References

  1. Steampunk article, Wikipedia.
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