Pan Post 115 ends with a Non-Story Note from Al Ciao the Writer asserting that this post only exists because Britt the Writer wanted proper descriptions for the characters Ameryl, Imeryn and Peysiant Guril. In the Story A Buxom Reporter, chosen for obvious reasons by Holochannel 42 News, is reporting on the wedding of Imeryn Hypericum to both Peysiant Guril, her Queen Consort, and Highemperor, her King Consort. Soriel is on guard when A Buxom Reporter approaches him and is agitated when he mixes up her real name, Abuxia Amriiportah, with "A Buxom Reporter. The interview is interupted when the trio emerge on a floating palanquin pulled by PUDDAFs. Imeryn is dressed in greater splendour than her two spouses.
Wedding of the Century of the Week
The female reporter's handler speaks into her earpiece.
Handler (through earpiece): You already used that phrase to describe the Duchess Salarnyrifa's wedding last week.
The female reporter continues without missing a beat.
A Buxom Reporter: --of the Week!
The holocameraman makes sure that the reporter's bosom is constantly in view, as this contributes to Holochannel 42 News's high ratings.
A Buxom Reporter: In less than an hour, our glorious new queen Imeryn Iristatice Floranymae Hypericum will be wed to her King Consort and Queen Consort!
The camera pans to show guests milling about in the large cathedral. An inset continues to show the reporter's head and bosom as she speaks.
A Buxom Reporter: The highest lords and ladies of the Glorious Galactic Dynastic Star Monarchy of Hypericum Resplendis Maior have all assembled to pay their respects.
Handler (in earpiece): Why do you always ignore me when I tell you to stop saying the entire name of our kingdom? Hypericum is good enough.
A Buxom Reporter: Ah, our groom-consort and bride-consort have arrived! Much as been made of Peysiant Guril, the commoner who won the heart of a queen with her astounding loveliness.[/I]
Peysiant Guril, or Peasant Girl, is in a fancy white wedding dress with silver bits and a gold tiara. Her eyes are pearlescent irises with no pupils (for none of the dominant native race in Hypericum have visible pupils), and her hair is long lavender and aquamarine locks spilling down the back of her dress.
All Hypericumites are shorter than humans, with adults typically ranging from 4 to 5 feet in height rather than 5 to 6 as is most common with humans. Peysiant Guril is at the low end of that spectrum, standing at 4 feet even.
A Buxom Reporter: And the mysterious Highemperor, tall dark and handsome, of whom we know little, has won the love of the kingdom with his mystique.
Highemp has trade his typical black and red uniform for a white and silver variation for today. A gold coronet sits atop his head.
A Buxom Reporter: I recently uncovered some choice information on our mysterious King-Consort-to-be from his aloof companion.
The camera switches to a recording from a few days ago. In grand markets outside the palace district, the reporter catches up to Soriel, who turns to regard her warily.
A Buxom Reporter: Hello there! I am Abuxia Amriiportah, correspondent for News Holochannel 42!
Soriel blinks, processing the woman's name.
Soriel: You're... a buxom reporter?
There is some obvious snickering from the cameraman, that for some reason was not edited out. The reporter looks affronted.
A Buxom Reporter: That's a rather forward thing to say! I take great exception to your remark!
Her chest is heaving with indignation. It's very clear why this segment wasn't edited out. Soriel continues to look confused.
Soriel: But, you just said your name is--
A Buxom Reporter: Abuxia Amriiportah, yes.
Soriel: Who names their child A Buxom Reporter?
A Buxom Reporter opens her mouth to reply indignantly, when Soriel's outburst shocks her into silence.
Soriel: SILENCE, BLADE! I don't care how buxom her mammaries are, there will be no plunging into her!
There is silence for a few moments. Holochannel 42's ratings shoot through the roof from the speechless expression upon A Buxom Reporter's face. The rest of the interview is cut short however, as the camera switches back to A Buxom Reporter live in the cathedral.
A Buxom Reporter: I'm sorry, folks, we'll have to see the rest of that interview later. Tune in at 5 for the juicy details of Highemperor's background! But for now, I've just received word that Queen Imeryn herself is coming down the arcade!
The camera switches to the outdoor plaza, down which Imeryn is being borne on a floating palanquin pulled by PUDDAFs. The queen herself is even more resplendent than her consorts-to-be. Her white dress has even more frills and jewels than Peasant Girl's does, and Highemp and Peasant Girl's outfits have silver, Imeryn's outfit has gold. Her crown is gold and bedecked with many jewels.
She is the identical twin of her banished sister, with the same golden irises (no pupils), the same long pink waves of hair, and the same short height of not quite 4 and a half feet.
She is waving indulgently to the crowd, soaking up their accolades, and looks completely and utterly smug and triumphant. Ruler without question, with her two loves being sworn to her today...