Pan Post 107 opens with Captain Arxis, captain of the PCC-Horizonavel-NX for the Pan-Cosmic Command, making his log. He has been tasked with delivering explosive ammunition for the Cosmic Destructor, which would be used against the Omega Reich. The ship orbits the Antiverse Core to gather the energy for the weapon and then, as the ships shields fail, the package is secure and they exit via a wormhole. But even as they escape alien ships approach and the crew is rendered unconscious. When they awake they discover that the engine is missing and so is the new package. Captain Arxis sends out a distress call. Time passes with no answer and a contamination spill of the Antiverse Core energy kills off the entire crew with the captain as the last survivor. He is rescued by Gul Moff Nizhoni and is given cured of his illness to the point of immortality. He becomes the head of the Pan-Cosmic Command and changes his name to Gul Moff Pfaxarxis. Under his command now is Gul Moff Ichron, with the PCC-Judgement, a puzzle-like ship, and Gul Moff Peysiant Guril, who operates the PCC-Nullity alone.


O Captain! My Captain!

Captain Arxis: "Captain's Log, Everdate Bravod of Three, Rat, Point Zero. The Commission has assigned me and my crew aboard the PCC-Horizonavel-NX one final mission: to carry what may be the most dangerous cargo ever from the Antiverse Core back to Amalgamated HQ. The order comes straight from Gul Moff Nizhoni herself, and as such, our mission to transport cargo of unfathomable explosive ammunition, for an experimental weapon called a Cosmic Destructor, remains top secret. Publically, the Commission has said that our vessel would be sent into enemy-controlled Commission territory to deliver the final, covert blow to the Omega Reich enemy and its Axiom Vehemency. Gul Moff Nizhoni has informed us that the the Reich has already fallen with its leader, Jagisk Ttocks, having taken his own life. Certainly, we'll be hailed in history, either as living legends or as mythic martyrs, but not for our true task regardless."

The log notes a heavy sigh.

Captain Arxis: "Frankly, this mission leaves me conflicted. The concept of this so-called Cosmic Destructor takes everything the Pan-Cosmic Commission and its Ultimate Directive stands for to its logical extreme -- weapons of absolute peace through absolute annihilation. We're meant to conduct order, and yet we're fueling this mad engine when the Omega Reich will no longer even pose a threat. Gul Moff Nizhoni, however, predicts one among the Amalgamated themselves will pose an even greater threat after this conflict, and yet she wouldn't tell me who, possibly because one of the other Gul Moffs might serve said Amalgamate forces. To send my men and women to possibly die in such treacherous territory, under such clandestine and questionable circumstances, isn't right. And yet, I must. If there is even a remote chance this prediction holds true, even such a terrible weapon may not be enough..."

The PCC-Horizonaval-NX, an experimental stealth corvette ship of its own, resembles a kunai, with the Commission's signature interlocking C-shaped 'rings' outfitted in the rear as its bridge. Its commanding officer, Captain Arxis, vaguely resembles Abraham Lincoln[Ext 1], if Lincoln appeared as a strange, anthropomorphic cross between a horse and an orangutan. His dark, salting beard and mane forms great, furry Cs on his head in a similar fashion to the ship's signature bridge.

(It should come as little surprise that Captain Arxis had been one of the ship's key architects as well.)

The small ship bucks wildly from the furious tempest of the Antiverse Core, with something resembling a thick, metal rope having been "lowered" into the very center of the Core itself.

Captain Arxis: "Report!"

First Officer Zenithread: "Extraction of antiversal energy at sixty-three percent. We need another three minutes and twenty seconds to complete the package."

Security Officer Deph: "Shields at twenty two percent! At this rate, they'll be down in less than two minutes!"

Chief Engineer Renigayd: "Engine core has gone critical! We need to slow down or risk blowing the whole ship up!"

Science Officer Phymist: "Antiversal anomalies have gone off the charts! There's no telling how crazy they'll get now!"

Helmsman `~}|#: "The exit wormhole is shrinking rapidly. Even at my best, there won't be enough wormhole to shoot back through after four minutes, tops!"

Captain Arxis: "Zeni, Reni: double-time it! Deph, Phymist: have all auxiliary power diverted to shields and sensors! Helmsman, start spinning us up for an old-fashion Discus Maneuver!"

Helmsman `~}|#: "This might require more than my best..."

The klaxxons continue to blare as the antiversal storm rages on. A panel explodes, and a poor ensign flies from it across the bridge. Steam shoots out from another panel. Everyone grips onto something as an especially strong shockwave shakes the whole ship.

Security Officer Deph: "Shields are gone!"

First Officer Zenithread: "Package complete."

Captain Arxis: "PUNCH IT!"

The helmsman slams his palm down on a giant button. The ship, with its "blade" part having rapidly been spinning around its bridge, suddenly flies towards the exit wormhole. It already looks like it may close completely at any moment. The ship's chief doctor, who looks exactly like Mr. T[Ext 2] in a doctor's coat, walks onto the bridge with a delicate cup of tea. He sips it.

Doctor T: "...we're screwed beyond all belief."

Captain Arxis: "You best make your time[Ext 3]!"

Miraculously, the ships manages to squeeze through the exit wormhole before it closes completely right behind them. The whole crew jumps with joy, with the exception of the first officer (who's a stick in the mud) and the doctor (who goes back to drinking tea).

Captain Arxis: "Great job, everyone! The celebration will have to wait until we get back to HQ, though. Reni, report to me what repairs are needed in fifteen--"

Science Officer Phymist: "Sir, I'm detecting unidentified vessels closing in. They appear ready to--"

Suddenly, the whole crew appears to simultaneously fall unconscious as the ship goes dark.


The emergency lights eventually begin to glow, and the crew slowly regains consciousness.

Doctor T: "You a'ight, Cap'n?"

Captain Arxis: "Yes-- someone tell me what the hell just happened?"

Science Officer Phymist: "No more signs of whatever those unidentified vessels were now, sir."

Chief Engineer Renigayd: "The engine, sir..."

Captain Arxis: "Spit it out, Reni!"

Chief Engineer Renigayd: "It's...gone! We're dead in the water!"

First Officer Zenithread: "That's not all that's gone."

Captain Arxis: "Don't you dare tell me--"

First Officer Zenithread: "The antiversal energy package is no longer aboard the ship, sir."

The captain falls over into his command chair. Everyone looks to him for yet another instance of just the right words to say to get them out of this new impossible mess. He sits for several moments in silence.

Captain Arxis: "...send out a distress signal."


Captain Arxis: "Captain's Log, Everdate Miketh of Eight, Monkey DragonRat-Tiger, Point Zero. No, that can't be right... even the computer has lost track of the everdate? Not that I'm surprised. All systems have failed at this point except for the distress signal. I've diverted even life support to it at this point... it's just me now, after all. The rest have passed away. It seems whomever stole the antiversal energy left some for us after microscopic contaminated spills across the ship. By the time we detected it, it was too late. The whole crew would die from the energy poisoning. Some of the more sensitive species on my crew died relatively quick... mercy was on their side. I watched as my crew dwindled one by one. The doctor worked feverishly for a cure, but to no avail. It seems my own kind have a particularly hardy resistance to such things... heh... I consider being an omaretan to be a curse now. Cursed to watch as I could do nothing to save my crew, or even get revenge on the thieves who assailed us..."

The log notes some wheezing.

Captain Arxis: "This will likely be... my last log. If anyone reviews this log, please know that I had... the finest crew a captain could ask for..."

The log notes a hailing sound.

Captain Arxis: "Can it be...?"

Ending the log, the captain presses another nearby button with great effort.

Captain Arxis: "This is... the PCC-Horizonaval...NX..."

Hailing Voice: "This is Gul Moff Nizhoni, Captain Arxis. I came as quickly as I could when I didn't hear from you. Did you acquire the package?"

Captain Arxis: "Acquired...and lost... trace amounts contaminate this ship... crew gone save myself..."

Gul Moff Nizhoni: "Saving you is exactly what I intend to do, Captain, even if it means giving my own life to do so. I'm getting too old for this nonsense, and the new Command needs someone like you to live on. Someone who truly embodies its principles. Someone imbued with antiversal energy in their blood..."


Gul Moff Pfaxarxis: "Captain's log, Everdate Yankeest of Two, Rat Rooster-Pig, Point One. At this time, I reflect on a lifetime ago. Nizhoni had been true to her word, more than I'd have ever wanted. Through powers both natural and unnatural, she had ensured that I would live...virtually forever, it seems. She gave her own life to do so. Out of the victory against the Omega Reich, the newly-reformed Pan-Cosmic Command quickly rose as the pivotal mediating organization among the multiversal powers it was meant to be. I do my best to uphold the principles of the PCC as well as my own, but the PCC isn't what it once was, and neither am I, so I adopted a new name and made the best of things."

The log notes a clearing of his throat.

Gul Moff Pfaxarxis: "I now hold the new PCC-Horizonaval under my personal command. She's a lot bigger and fancier, for sure, though I don't think she has quite the same charm. I'm attending a meeting with Gul Moff Ichron and Gul Moff Peasant Girl to discuss a new sting operation. I don't know how the girl pilots the PCC-Nullity without a crew and with just the bridge, but then again, the talking box has turned the PCC-Judgement into some incomprehensible puzzle of a ship, so apparently, I'm the only one in Command these days who knows how to actually design a bloody sensible ship. And yet, I myself feel like an old ship dragging her anchor along with her... I may not be the man I once was, but so long I command a ship, damn it all, I'll always be the captain!"


External References

  1. Abraham Lincoln article, Wikipedia.
  2. Mr. T article, Wikipedia.
  3. All your base are belong to us article, Wikipedia.
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