Pan Post 106 follows on from Pan Post 83 where Highemperor slept with the twin princesses Ameryl and Imeryn Hypericum. During that night he is briefly visited by the beholder Quincy who he shoos away only to be disturbed by another voyeur. He sees someone out of the window and teleports over to find a young woman peeping on him and his lovers. She explains she is named Peysiant Guril and he encourages her to come forth and reveal her love to the princesses, which she does in Pan Post ?. Highemperor returned to the future, as in Pan Post 83, before he comes back to the Hypericum Empire to find that Imeryn has banished Ameryl and married Peysiant Guril. He joins them as king consort and has children by her. Peysiant Guril explains that he will, in his future, try to intervene during the tournament of Imeryn and Ameryl but will fail. Highemperor later leaves them and much later Imeryn attacks the Stronghold of Powerplayers and sacrifices her entire kingdom to do so, at which point Peysiant Guril leaves Imeryn. She goes across the Multiverse and continues as a voyeur until she reaches El'Psassment and meets Gaje Nahda upon a rooftop. He begins to instruct her in the way of Nothing as she becomes one of his students. When she hears of him destroying the Figg Federation she become disillusioned and frustrated with the gaje though she continues her lessons in using Nothing as power. She eventually leaves and finds the Pan-Cosmic Command where she quickly rises the ranks to Gul Moff.


Perverted Peasant Post

In a galactic kingdom far removed from the NeSiverse, Highemp lies in the arms of twin sisters Imeryn and Ameryl. The young women had gleefully ravished him as he deflowered them, and now lay sleeping as the moonlight poured into the room through the palace window.

Highemp is still awake however, and gets an uncanny sensation. As though someone is watching him.

Highemp: Dammit, Quincy, can't I ever get any privacy?!

A pop of displaced air signals the teleported arrival of a beholder, whose single eye looks innocently at the man.

Quincy: Nope.

Highemp glares at his old friend and mentor.

Quincy: Fine, fine. All the action's over now anyway.

He looks slyly at Highemp.

Quincy: ...unless you think they'll wake up again?

Highemp: Scram already.

Quincy: You're so easy to tease.

The beholder laughs and disappears. Highemp relaxes again...until he feels another uncanny sensation. This time it is not Quincy. He looks out the window, and sees a glint of reflected moonlight from one of the far palace towers.

Highemp: Uh oh, I'd better investigate. Hope it's not more assassinbots!

He carefully disengages from his sleeping lovers, and springs out the window, running along the palace roofs and hopping from tower to tower, until he reaches the far tower, and climbs up the wall to the gentle sloped roof.

Young Woman: Eek!

Highemp is surprised to see a young woman--

Highemp: No, I'm not, the script just told me there's a young woman saying eek.

Stop talking to invisible narrators that other people can't hear, or you'll spook her even more. Anyway, he sees a young woman sitting on the edge of the roof, holding a pair of binoculars.

Highemp: Wait - were you peeping on us?

The young woman scrambles to her feet, blushing furiously.

Young Woman: No! I-- Um-- Well-- That is--

She sighs.

Young Woman: Maybe?

Highemp: I have to admit, being spied on by sexy young women is a lot better than being spied on by Quincy...

The young woman looks at Highemp's crotch, before blushing furiously and turning away. He abruptly realizes that he's still naked. He quickly conjures his outfit onto himself, whistling innocently as he does so.

Young Woman: I, uh, wasn't spying on you. It's the princesses. I've loved them since I was little.

A dreamy cast has come into her gaze.

Highemp: A celebrity crush ain't love, darlin'. And it gets creepy when you start stalking them.

Young Woman: This kingdom, while sci-fi in technology, has the magic and tone of a medieval fantasy, so it IS love. Fairy tales and all that.

Highemp: You're surprisingly narratively aware... I'm Highemperor. What's your name?

Young Woman: Peysiant Guril.

Highemp: "Peasant Girl"?

Peasant Girl: What? No! The T is silent anyway, how did you even hear that?

Highemp: I have a script.

Peasant Girl: Then you should know it's Peysiant Guril, not Peasant Girl!

Highemp: Too late; the script has you down as 'Peasant Girl'. Could be worse, I was once in love with a woman named Harem Girl #87.

Peasant Girl: Wow, poor girl.

Highemp: And while you're smokin' hot--

Peasant Girl: That's an awfully forward thing to say to a woman you just met.

Highemp: A woman I just met who has seen me in my altogether getting it on with two ladies.

Peasant Girl: Fair point. You were saying?

Highemp: While you are most beauteous indeed--

Peasant Girl: Actually, I think I'm okay with 'smokin' hot'.

Highemp: --your clothing is poor, so I would venture that you are in fact a peasant girl.

Peasant Girl: You're not a snob who's going to hold that against me, are you? Or do you only bone princesses?

Highemp: Was that a come-on?

Peasant Girl: No, but only because I don't want this scene to fade to black just yet. I'm enjoying talking to you.

Too late. The Writer has run out of things for y'all to say. So Highemp and Peasant Girl spend a few hours sitting atop that tower in the middle of the night, chatting animatedly. Highemp encourages Peasant Girl to come forward about her love for the twin princesses; in a world partially defined by medieval fantasy tropes, it might actually work!

They part before the sun comes up, Peasant Girl returning to her hovel and Highemp to the arms of his sleeping princesses, before leaving them to stop more clockwork assassins.

Months pass. Highemp returns to find Imeryn queen and Ameryl banished - and Peasant Girl the Queen Consort! Despite their shared sorrow over Ameryl's banishment, Highemp and Peasant Girl get it on with each other as much as with Imeryn.

Yes, a daughter or two comes out of it. No, they are not going to be detailed this post.

After a while, a pregnant Peasant Girl asks Highemp an odd question one day.

Peasant Girl: Highemp, dear, do you think we could have done anything differently, that day Ameryl was banished?

Highemp glances around to make sure Imeryn isn't within earshot; the queen gets annoyed whenever her twin sister is mentioned.

Highemp: Unfortunately not. I wasn't even there.

Peasant Girl shoots him a strange look.

Peasant Girl: Yes, you were.

It is Highemp's turn to give her a strange look.

Highemp:, I wasn't.

Peasant Girl: Don't be daft, of course you were. You intervened in the duel and--

Highemp: Oh, I get it! Timey-wimey shenanigans!

Peasant Girl: haven't done it yet, but at some point you're going to travel to that past moment to try and change it?

Highemp: Apparently.

Peasant Girl: Doesn't seem much point, since it didn't work.

Highemp bites his lip in thought.

Highemp: Time is nearly always in flux, and can be changed. I will have to think on this and prepare...

Years go by, and when Highemp's children by Imeryn and Peasant Girl are 8, he chooses to leave, in order to protect them from the fickle whims of his Writer. Peasant Girl is sorry to lose him, just as she lost Ameryl, and now watches in sorrow as Imeryn gives into her ambitions, and sets out on an almost-mad conquering spree.

When Imeryn sacrifices her entire galactic kingdom to strike a terrible blow to the Stronghold of Powerplayers, Peasant Girl can abide it no longer, and bids her queen a sorrowful farewell, before vanishing.

She wanders the universes in a cosmic flitter obtained from Imeryn's now-dead kingdom, and becomes almost as big a voyeur as Quincy - though she never finds anyone else to love from a distance, as she did for the princesses and Highemp.

One night, she is in the distant city of New Sima. It is a sprawling megalopolis larger than any she has yet seen, and opportunities for voyeurism abound. She is watching with binoculars from a rooftop as one of the Ministers of the Moment get it on with his mistress.

Peasant Girl: Maybe I should hunt down that Quincy fellow who showed up to the wedding between Imeryn, Highemp, and myself. He might know some decent voyeur opportunities.

Robed Man: El'Psassmet doesn't satisfy you in that regard?

Peasant Girl starts, ripping her binoculars away from her face to see a short, nearly bald man in simple robelike garb. From the holes in his hands and chest, she can tell he is one of the natives - though of course there are many species native to this world - and she can't remember what the particular species is called.

Peasant Girl: Damn, but you gave me a fright. Thief or voyeur?

Robed Man: I'm nothing of either kind.

Peasant Girl: Well, it's true that you look nothing--

The robed man smiles, as though immensely pleased with what Peasant Girl is saying.

Peasant Girl: --like either a thief or a voyeur, but then, it's not as though voyeurs have a consistent uniform.

Robed Man: You looked lonely up here, and so I thought I'd pop up for a chat.

Peasant Girl looks briefly around them. There is no easy way to this roof without climbing sheer walls, hopping from other roofs, or using some kind of aerial vehicle (of which she sees none, save the late-night traffic overhead).

Peasant Girl: You're more agile than you look, I'll give you that. What did you want to chat about?

Robed Man: Nothing in particular. Though you don't seem satisfied with your view.

Peasant Girl: Once, I peeped on people whom I loved, and this led to doing more than peeping.

Robed Man: Where are these loved ones now?

Peasant Girl: Not here.

Robed Man: What would satisfy you then?

Peasant Girl: At this point...not sure anything would.

The robed man smiles again.

Robed Man: Then I must ask... what do you love more than your loved ones?

Peasant Girl: Nothing.

Robed Man: Then you are wise indeed.

Peasant Girl throws a bewildered stare at the man.

Peasant Girl: Uh...right. I don't think I caught your name.

Robed Man: Call me Gaje.

And so, in a very roundabout fashion, Peasant Girl's spiritual tutelage under the Gaje of El'Psassmet, otherwise known as Mayamanu Nahda, begins. He joins her on many nights as she peeps on various trysts, never failing to find her no matter where in the vast city she is. It's a long time before she realizes he is the local religious head, and even longer after that before she discovers that he is the Head of State for the Coordination, as well as possessed of mind-boggling powers.

By this time, she is no longer meeting him on rooftops of course, but in the temple chambers, both in classes where he instructs multiple pupils in the way of Nothing, and in one-on-one tutoring sessions. Peasant Girl finds comfort in the religion, despite its sometimes confusing (for her) tenets, but one day her views are shaken, when word comes in about her teacher utterly destroying several multiverses.

When next she sees him, he is as calm and unassuming as ever, standing at the head of his class of pupils, and she challenges him.

Peasant Girl: Gaje, is it true?

Gaje: What is truth?

The classmates answer.

Classmates: Nothing is truth.

Peasant Girl: By the same token, Gaje, nothing is false. Did you destroy the Figg Federation?

Gaje: I did Nothing.

Peasant Girl: I had no idea you had such power. But why? What did they do to deserve it?

Gaje: Nothing, of course.

Peasant Girl grows increasingly frustrated, as she fires off several more questions before finally giving up, and Gaje begins instructing the class as normal. But in her mind she nurtures her questions, even as she learns to channel Nothing, the same way as her teacher.

But unlike her teacher, she begins nurturing desires to use the Nothing for something - to obtain that for which she wishes. Her love for Imeryn and Highemp and Ameryl is tempered with sorrow, bitterness, regret, and anger, and so her desires twist in ways to become nothing what anyone would expect.

And one day, Peasant Girl leaves New Sima and El'Psassmet, abandoning her cosmic flitter and streaking through the multiverse under her own power...because there is Nothing that would let her now do so. An extremist, she violently uses her powers to correct wrongs she sees and brings to heel corrupt orders the cosmos over.

When she comes into contact with the Pan Cosmic Command, she joins, rising rapidly through the ranks to become one of its mysterious leaders, the Gul Moffs.

Gul Moff Peasant Girl: Nothing can stop me now...

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