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The NeS Heroes need to travel to Disney World to defeat Totallyevil, the truly evil sister of the NeS Hero Semievil. MaybeChild has possession of the powerful evil-slaying weapon, the Porkus Malorkus, but the team is being arguing over what to do. Krig the Viking, however, has gone on ahead and meets with Ares outside Disney World. MaybeChild stabs Totallyevil with the sword where it explodes, seemingly killing Totallyevil. The NeS Heroes celebrate at Atlantis until it is discovered that Totallyevil still lives. Finally Semievil uses the clerical power within MaybeChild to kill his sister.
Ares and Krig at Disney World
The NeS Heroes have obtained the legendary sword, the Porkus Malorkus[MT Ref 1], as a means of defeating the powerful Totallyevil[MT Ref 2]. However, when they arrived at Stonehenge to do battle with her, she had grown bored waiting for them and went to Disney World with her father, Dr Evil, and her remaining henchman, Farr[MT Ref 3]. Krig the Viking set off for Disney World, the long way, by himself while the rest of the heroes debated if they ought to follow him or not, specifically because MaybeChild had activated the Sporkus Malorkus aspect of her legendary weapon and with it the sword's five minute self-destruct[MT Ref 4]. Ultimately they were arguing exactly how long the five minutes would take in story and writing terms[MT Ref 5]. In the Writers' Realm, even the Writers were arguing. MaybeChild the Writer attacked a man everyone thought was TheOtter the Writer but was, in fact, his uncle Mr Pennybags[MT Ref 6]. Krig the Viking, meanwhile, arrived at Disney World and was mistaken for part of the act first by the ticket salesman and then by a group of costumed Donald Ducks[Ext Ref 1], waylaying him from finding Totallyevil[MT Ref 7]. Back on NeS Page 7, MaybeChild had used her clerical powers instinctively and turned Semievil, in his usual undead form, into a pile of bones[MT Ref 8]. Momentarily Semievil's bony hand crawled out from the robes he had been wearing, hoping to be fixed back together[MT Ref 9]. Several Pages earlier, the Characters had all adopted Character Classes[Ext Ref 2] from the Dungeons & Dragons[Ext Ref 3] game, hoping it would help them defeat Totallyevil[MT Ref 10]. Antestarr decided now was the time to switch his class to that of a Weaver. The Otter started laughing, believing that Antestarr meant he was an actual weaver[Ext Ref 4] but Antestarr actually meant that he was a weaver of magic from the computer game Loom[Ext Ref 5], and to prove the point he used his staff to open a vortex to suck up the Otter into the "Nether realm", which is usually a term for Hell[MT Ref 11]. Elsewhere a random Minor Character, Hebedee, mentioned for one post is mentioned as he watches cows and sings songs from Oklahoma![Ext Ref 6] musical[MT Ref 12].
Krig was dragged by the Donald Ducks through the depths of Disney World until he was thrown onto a stage with several other people dressed up as vikings for a stage show. The director shouted "break a leg" and Krig became concerned for his leg's safety, shortly before the curtains rose and he found himself before a massive audience of people. The other vikings began dancing around the stage and at the back of the crowd, Ares arrived, lamenting the state of the Story[MT Ref 13]. Ares decided he had to take the Story back to his arena, however when he called to book a slot he found even he couldn't get a slot in his own fully-booked arena. Instead he got back into his dodge viper to drive around and think how he could take the Story back and destroy this new direction[MT Ref 14]. MaybeChild, meanwhile, couldn't figure out how to put Semievil back together without being 'unholy'. Gebohq, crying that his friend was in pieces, begged MaybeChild to stop being holy and save Semievil. She agreed and changed her garb and conjured herself a duar, a fantastical instrument from the Spellsinger[Ext Ref 7] series, essentially turning into a Dungeons & Dragons Bard[Ext Ref 8]. She found the duar was out of tune and had to retune it until she could play. When she played, she played "Get up, Stand up[Ext Ref 9]" by Bob Marley[Ext Ref 10]. This worked as Semievil was soon back to his completed self[MT Ref 15]. The Otter, in line to get into Disney World[MT Ref 16], disappeared and reappeared in Canada. He decided to get out of the leather he'd been wearing for his Dungeons & Dragons class and into his own goth[Ext Ref 11] gear, complete with his signature satchel. He then went off in search of violence[MT Ref 17]. Violence, however, found Krig instead. He spotted one of the Donald Ducks in the audience and lunged at him with his axe. He cut the duck's head off, revealing the head of the man inside the suit. This didn't end Krig's attack, however, as he resented being made a "dancy man". Elsewhere in Disney World, the villains took a break from the rides as Totallyevil suddenly devised a new plot to conquer the world[MT Ref 18].
To gain entry to Disney World, the heroes yelled that free t-shirts were available and the entire population of Disney World vacated and went off for free t-shirts. The heroes entered and were rejoined by Krig the Viking. MaybeChild faced off against Totallyevil and the men present began to imagine them wrestling in mud and wearing bikinis. Until they realised that Farr and Dr Evil were also present. The clock for the Sporkus Malorkus counted down, a single minute remaining. Totallyevil was being "totally evil" and pulled Maybe's long, red hair. The other heroes were losing to Farr until Farr's unnamed girlfriend arrived and he was distracted and tamed by her presence. Maybe distracted Totallyevil by pointing into the distance and then stabbed her through the chest with the sporkus malorkus. The NeS Heroes then ran away and the sword exploded. They then suddenly found themselves in Atlantis and were swimming round in a pool. Krig was set upon by two buxom women and Semievil calculated that the Writers must have wanted a "swimsuit edition"[MT Ref 16]. Ares arrived again and was informed by Antestarr that his Colosseum had been destroyed when it crashed atop of an asteroid into a spaceship[MT Ref 19]. Ares decided he would have to change the story in some other way if not with his arena[MT Ref 16]. Krig was impressed with the ladies, but when he realised he was wearing only a speedo he became bashful and leapt into the pool to hide himself[MT Ref 20]. MaybeChild, laughing at Krig, played a song about speedos. Krig splashed water at her in frustration, which water-logged her duar. In retaliation she leapt into the pool, ontop of Krig[MT Ref 21]. Ares, after apparently getting into his car to drive around again, decided to return to the pool but came in too fast and his dodge viper wound up in the middle of the pool. Krig and Maybe had to swim to safety[MT Ref 22]. Antestarr started to check though the spells available to him in his new class, evidently hoping to find one that would reveal the naked bodies of all the women present. Gebohq, whose Character Class from Dungeons & Dragons was still that of a paladin[Ext Ref 12], felt it was his goodly duty to stop Antestarr's terrible scheme and punted Antestarr between the legs resulting in a high C being played from Antestarr's musical staff. Antestarr then bashed in Gebohq's kneecaps and aimed his staff at the women. However the spell, instead of nakedness, turned the women into swans, who then flew away[MT Ref 23]. With the women removed, Krig came to his senses and, not realising that Totallyevil had been killed, decided he had to get back to Disney World to kill her. He pushed Ares car from the pool, via the shallow end, hot-wired it and drove off to Disney World[MT Ref 24]. Ares, furious that his car was stolen by Krig, called for a new car, a Mercedes-Benz GL-Class[Ext Ref 13], which he used to speed after Krig the Viking. When he arrived, however, he found his viper double-packed and brimming with parking tickets. Ares, in a rage, jumped into the car and drove through the gates of Disney World to find Krig and kill him[MT Ref 25].
The Second End of Totallyevil
Krig found the crater where the sporkus malorkus had exploded and there he found the remains of Totallyevil who was still whole despite the explosion, and even had the sword still impaled in her chest. Much to Krig's astonishment she got up and announced it was a flesh wound. Elsewhere Merlin bumped into Ares and Ares arrogantly shoved Merline aside. However Merlin then removed his disguise to reveal that he was actually DarkSide returned to seek vengeance. Though DarkSide is able to transform into other forms, he can only take the guise of those he has the soul of. He has never taken the soul of Merlin and thus had to use a disguise to appear as him - however it is unclear why he had to disguise himself as Merlin at all[MT Ref 26]. Ares, who had faced DarkSide before, didn't appreciate his return and reversed his car at DarkSide. DarkSide ran away but ran straight into a parade and was flattened by the feet of many costumed characters and floats. Ares accidentally ran over a Mickey Mouse[Ext Ref 14] before he sped away from the scene[MT Ref 27]. However, DarkSide would then rise and slip into the crowd, who complained of a sudden chill despite the hot weather of southern U.S.A.. Krig chased Totallyevil through an employee's only door where he bumped into Uncle Tusk, his fellow barbarian, who had been wandering aimlessly around Disney World. Together they then chased after Totallyevil[MT Ref 28]. Semievil armed himself to the teeth but was suddenly struck by lightning. Following that, apparently unfazed, he armed himself with a laser gun and began to charge it. He led the NeS Heroes after Totallyevil and, when they found her, he fired the laser cannon. And continued to fire until it eventually ran out of charge. As it did so he grabbed Maybe's hand and slapped it to his sister's head. The residual cleric magic within Maybe caused Totallyevil to dissolve into dust. However this also did the same to Semievil as he realised his arm was dissolving[MT Ref 29].
A random post created by BobTheMasher the Writer in which reference is made to a "Main Character" had the Characters, all nameless, shoot each other and explode without injury. BobTheMasher the Writer hadn't read any previous posts and so didn't know the names of the Characters. Despite this unrelated one-off post, this is the first true reference to a Main Character[MT Ref 30]. Though other Writers at that time would question the presence of a Main Character[MT Ref 31], later that title would officially fall upon Gebohq Simon(citation needed). In the Writers' Realm, MaybeChild the Writer chastised Gebohq the Writer for forcing his "swimsuit edition" with the Atlantis scene[MT Ref 32]. Posts #310 through to #320 were one-liner posts by Gebohq the Writer which, in total, read "Oh no, the Neverending Story has become an annoying one-worder thread"[MT Ref 33].
Massassi Temple References
- ↑ NeS Page #7, NeS Post #269 written by Semievil333 the Writer.
- ↑ NeS Page #6, NeS Post #238 written by Krig the Writer.
- ↑ NeS Page #7, NeS Post #277 written by Gebohq the Writer.
- ↑ NeS Page #7, NeS Post #274 written by Gebohq the Writer.
- ↑ NeS Page #8, NeS Post #281 written by Antestarr the Writer.
- ↑ NeS Page #8, NeS Post #282 written by TheOtter the Writer.
- ↑ NeS Page #7, NeS Post #283 written by Krig the Writer.
- ↑ NeS Page #7, NeS Post #278 written by Semievil333 the Writer.
- ↑ NeS Page #8, NeS Post #284 written by Semievil333 the Writer.
- ↑ NeS Page #6, NeS Post #228, written by Semievil333 the Writer.
- ↑ NeS Page #8, NeS Post #286 written by Antestarr the Writer.
- ↑ NeS Page #8, NeS Post #287 written by herb the Writer.
- ↑ NeS Page #8, NeS Post #288 written by Krig the Writer.
- ↑ NeS Page #8, NeS Post #290 written by Ares the Writer.
- ↑ NeS Page #8, NeS Post #291 written by MaybeChild the Writer.
- ↑ 16.0 16.1 16.2 NeS Page #8, NeS Post #294 written by Gebohq the Writer.
- ↑ NeS Page #8, NeS Post #292 written by TheOtter the Writer.
- ↑ NeS Page #8, NeS Post #293 written by Krig the Writer.
- ↑ NeS Page #6, NeS Post #229 written by Gebohq the Writer.
- ↑ NeS Page #8, NeS Post #295 written by Krig the Writer.
- ↑ NeS Page #8, NeS Post #296 written by MaybeChild the Writer.
- ↑ NeS Page #8, NeS Post #297 written by Ares the Writer.
- ↑ NeS Page #8, NeS Post #298 written by Antestarr the Writer.
- ↑ NeS Page #8, NeS Post #299 written by Krig the Writer.
- ↑ NeS Page #8, NeS Post #300 written by Ares the Writer.
- ↑ NeS Page #8, NeS Post #301 written by Gebohq the Writer.
- ↑ NeS Page #8, NeS Post #302 written by Ares the Writer.
- ↑ NeS Page #8, NeS Post #303 written by Krig the Writer.
- ↑ NeS Page #8, NeS Post #305 written by Semievil the Writer.
- ↑ NeS Page #8, NeS Post #306 written by Gebohq the Writer.
- ↑ NeS Page #8, NeS Post #307 written by Antestarr the Writer.
- ↑ NeS Page #8, NeS Post #308 written by Gebohq the Writer.
- ↑ NeS Page #8, NeS Post #310 written by Gebohq the Writer.
- ↑ Wikipedia, Donald Duck article.
- ↑ Wikipedia, Character class (Dungeons & Dragons) article.
- ↑ Wikipedia, Dungeons & Dragons article.
- ↑ Wikipedia, Weaving article.
- ↑ Wikipedia, Loom article.
- ↑ Wikipedia, Oklahoma! article.
- ↑ Wikipedia, Spellsinger article.
- ↑ D&D Wiki, Bard article.
- ↑ Wikipedia, Get up, Stand up article.
- ↑ Wikipedia, Bob Marley article.
- ↑ Wikipedia, Goth subculture article.
- ↑ D&D Wiki, Paladin article.
- ↑ Wikipedia, Mercedes=Benz GL-Class article.
- ↑ Wikipedia, Mickey Mouse article.