In NeS1 Post 767, the Spooky Taco becomes irate that his Asparagus Troopers allowed the NeS Heroes to escape capture in NeS1 Post 766. When looking for which one of them to blame, he chooses Asparagus Trooper 12 at random. General Gordita brings out the Vegomatic to punish Asparaus Trooper 12. It consists of a series of deadly blades that would slice and mulch vegetables, and the unfortunate trooper is pushed in by the general. The scene turns away from the horror to keep the Never-ending Story 1 from being an adult-rated Story. In the Writers' Realm, at the Massassi Temple Offices the Writers are waiting for Semievil333 the Writer to return when there is a knock at the door. They discover that this is a new Writer to the team, The Last True Evil the Writer. Janitor Bob the Writer wants the opportunity to haze this new Writer, just as he was hazed in NeS1 Post 739, but Gebohq the Writer asserts only the seventh Writer gets that treatment.


*In the Computer Gaming Realm, the Asparugus troopers report back to the Spooky Taco*

Spooky Taco: Yes. This better be important.

Asparugus Trooper #1: S-sir... we seem to have... lost the Intruders.

Spooky Taco: There probably most likely where you left them. Now leave me alone.

Aspuragus Trooper #2: I'm afraid you don't understand, Herr Taco. The Intruders got away.

Spooky Taco *suddenly changing to a mob accent* : Ya have mashed potatoes for brains or somethin'? Which of youse fault is dat bit o' incompetence?

*The Aspuragus troopers quickly all point to a different vegatable. To decide which Asparagus to execute, the Spooky Taco does 'Eenie Meenie Mynie Moe'[Ext 1]*

Spooky Taco *Suddenly changing back into his James Earl Jones[Ext 2] accent*: You have failed me for the last time, Aspuragus Trooper #12!

Aspuragus Trooper #12: Please, lordvader[Ext 3], err... Herr Taco, please give me just one more chance to fail you...

Spooky Taco: General Gordita! Bring out... the Vegomatic!

Asparugus Trooper #12: NOOOO! Please. Can't you just give me a Lethal Injection instead?

*General Gordita pulls out a rusty old vegomatic. He flips the ON switch. The camera zooms in on the sharp clattering blades, covered in vegatable oil. General Gordita picks up Aspuragus Trooper #12, carries him over to the Vego-matic, gives him a mighty shove and...*

*The Camera, not wanting to make this movie 'R' rated[Ext 4] only shows the closed door outside of the Spooky Taco Headquarters. A long bloodcurling scream is heard, followed by a quite gurgling. It would be really disgusting and tragic, if it wasn't an Aspuragus that was being executed. Or maybe I'm just desensitized*


*Meanwhile, (NES usage count: Tangent of 90 degrees)in the Writers Realm, oblivious to the violent, action-packed Car chase outdoors, (mainly because this writer can't figure out anything to write about it) Bob, Geb, Maybe, and possibly Krig the Writers lounge around the Massassi Interactive Story Forum Office, waiting for Sem to come back and start editing again.*

*Suddenly (Nes usage count, 37 by Janitor Bob alone) the doorbell chimes. Maybe gets up from her bag of Corn Chips[Ext 5] and answers it*

Maybe the Writer: Look, I'm not buying any more Girl Scout Cookies[Ext 6].

LT Evil the Writer: No, wait. I'm not selling cookies. I'm the new writer.

Maybe the Writer: Another one!

LT Evil the Writer: Yup. And my name has a really long abbreviation, too.

Bob the Writer: Ooh! Do I get to help haze this guy!

Geb the Writer: No. The hazing procedure is only for every seventh writer.

Bob the Writer: (grumble) ungrateful...

Will the new writer start developing any new plot devices or characters? Or will he simply fall into the murky slough of apathy that so has taken all the previous writers? Will the Digital Heroes ever be able to find and destroy the Spooky Taco. Or will the Spooky Taco and the Aspuragus Troopers continue to beat them with a succsession of mediocre senseless posts? Will Bob the Writer ever learn how to correctly spell Aspuragus? Will any writer ever get an idea on how top continue the Car Chase- action scene? Will the Writers ever run out of promotional slogans for the Never Ending Story? Probably.


May the Windex be with you

-Janitor Jack (Salk Wars)


External References

  1. Eeny, meeny, miny, moe article, Wikipedia.
  2. James Earl Jones article, Wikipedia.
  3. Darth Vader article, Wikipedia.
  4. Motion Picture Association film rating system article, R-rated section, Wikipedia.
  5. Corn Chips article, Wikipedia.
  6. Girl Scout Cookies article, Wikipedia.
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