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NeS1 Post 700 begins the Chapter The Forbidden Fortress of Forbideness. It opens with a Non-Story Note from Gebohq the Writer who questions the kind of history lesson Dr Geb should give, as suggested by Semievil333 the Writer in NeS1 Post 698. He does mention that he once gave a recap of events prior to the start of Never-ending Story 1, NeS1 Post 1, in NeS1 Post 109 as told by grandpa Lightstaff. He responds to Hoard the Writer, who was surprised by the age of the thread in NeS1 Post 697, by running through former Writers. He goes on to expect the NeS to reach NeS1 Page 20 to be the longest thread on the Massassi Temple Forum (which it does and far beyond). In the Story Realm, the villains, the Evil Dream Team, are taken by surprise as Phantom Master opens fire on them, as per NeS1 Post 695. The villains are heroes are still embroiled in the Capture the Giant Chicken Bone game, which Krig has found. Prompted by MaybeChild, Krig runs for the goal but, before MaybeChild could stop him, Krig passes to Gebohq, who fumbles it as Maybe expected. After passing back and forth, MaybeChild gets the chicken bone and reaches the goal with just a second to spare. In the Writers' Realm, the Writers are suddenly struck by the fact they ought to resume writing the Story after their own adventure had concluded. When MaybeChild the Writer mentions the hanging plot thread of Microsoft's Phase 3 plan against Massassi Temple, they look outside to see Massassi Fighters fly by to deal with the threat, leaving the Writers free. They don't want to write for the Story, so they decide to all get dates and go to the nightclub as per Otter the Writer's suggestion. In lieu of writing, Semievil333 the Writer opts to run his first-person shooter gaming engine on the games console to simulate the Story. Back in the Story Realm, the Characters find themselves at a restaurant called Geb's B.B.Q. Gibs House, but they discover that the menu is not for food but for gaming options of single-player or multiplayer.

Post

(NSP: Hehe, a history lesson? Of what kind? I sorta gave a history back on page...oh I forgot, where it was a story post with "grampa lightside" telling the kids about how NeS started and formed the Interactive Story board and such. But yes, Hoard, this story has been here since nearly the beginning, back when Miss Fire and Galvatron and Enchilada Man posted. How I miss my first generation co-workers. Ah well, I shall now introduce my post which I hope will move NES in a less plot driven and NeS style direction. Think it's bad now, just wait until page 20 or so, when we break the longest thread record. Advertisements galore, start our own religion, conquor Switzerland[Ext 1]...er...oops, getting ahead of myself. Here it goes...)

In the fighter's realm, the annailation of Earth and the Arena are barely avoided, thanks to the efforts of Enchilada Man and his taco-spewing turrets. As the Evil Dream Team was being distracted by such a Mexican spectacle, Phantom_Master enters the picture, thanks to the quick-thiking of the writers. Using the gun he wished for from the PC Genie and the element of surprise, he opened fire on the bad guys.

Burby 00: Holy jalapenos! They shot at us!

They: No we didn't...

Burby 00: Not this again...


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Geb: Woohoo! I'm relieved from teh game now, right coach?

Maybe: You idiot! We're all in this together.

Geb: ohh...

Maybe: Oh crap, who has teh Giant Chicken Bone?

Everyone's eyes simutaneously looked at the center of the arena, where, all by himself, Krig was sitting, examining and licking the Giant Chiken Bone.

Maybe: Krig! Get to the goal zone, now!

Darkside: Get him!

Krig: Uh-oh...

Krig begins to run towards the good guys at their goal, leaving the Chicken Bone where it was.

Maybe: Get the chicken bone!

Hesitantly, Krig dashed back to snatch the Giant Chicken Bone, narrowly avoiding the claws of Morris the Cat. Krig was now running for his dear life, only a foot away from the bad guys.

Losien: Run Krig, run!

Geb: Toss it to me, Krig. I'm open!

Before Maybechild can scream "NO!", Krig throws the bone to Gebohq, who fumbles it. "They" then starts to pull out his uzis, and slowly pulled the trigger. In slow-motion, Geb falls backwards to dodge the bullets, throwing the Chicken Bone aimlessly backwards. Miraculously, TheOtter catches it, and holds it high in the air. As teh bad guys approach though, TheOtter throws it over his head, where Antestarr catches it on the other side. They continue to do this, taunting "monkeys in the middle"[Ext 2] until Maybe grabs the Bone from Otter and runs towards the goal herself.

With the timer having only mere seconds now, the bad guys' only hope is that she doesn't make it in time. Obviously, thanks to clocks having a slowing mechanism built in to go off at important times, such as school getting out and the end of games, Maybechild had reached the end of the goal with one second to spare.


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In the writer's realm, Phantom_Master looks upon his first "official" addition to The Neverending Story Thread with pride. All the other writer's congratulate him on a job well done.

Randy: Woohoo! Er...now what?

Phantom: What do you mean "now what?"

Randy: I mean, what are we going to write next?

The writers grumbled after realizing now that the story would have to continue, unless living in a van down by the river appealed to them.

Geb: I don't think I have the energy for it.

Mase: What we need is a way to keep it going without us having to write...hey, remember when we had the Playstation[Ext 3] on, and the story followed with that? Maybe we could do something like that.

Sem: Hey, I've been making a First person Shooter[Ext 4] game of my own design on my free time, canabalizing engines and ideas from other games. We could just stick that in, and leave it to its own devices.

Otter: Should we really put our creations through such torture?

Sem: That was back in my early editing days! I do not build such aweful levels as I had with the Sporkus castle. Besides, you got a beter idea.

Otter: ....no. But I do have an idea what we can do?

Maybe: Yeah smart guy, it's called "stopping Microsoft's Phase 3"

Geb: No need to worry about that, Maybe. Look outside.

Outside the window, jets with the words "Massassi Fighters" written on them, zoomed overhead.

Geb: The Zone[Ext 5] is no match for the superior multiplayer influence of the Massassi Temple. Besides, what could we do? We know squat about editing.

Sem gives Geb a "what about me?" signal.

Geb: Like I said, we know less than nothing about editing. So anywhos, what was your idea, Otter?

Otter: I think we should all go out to a nightclub. You know, get some dates, go to a fancy dinner, and party the night away.

A murmer of dissaproval eminates from the anti-social group of writers.

Otter: Aw come on! It'll be fun! It's either that, or write for this story.

The writers quickly pull out their black books, ready to call up someone for a date. Geb meanwhile looks lost.

Geb: ...but I don't have anyone I could take for a date.

Mase: Use your right hand. You're already aquainted with each other...

After having arranged who to take as their dates and location to meet at, they headed out of the offices, not before plugging in the custom first-person shooter, which was black and labeled with a skull and crossbones, with the words "Warning!" on it.


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Instantly after having won the game of CTGCB, the fighters found themselves materializing out of the Arena and away from their foes. They now found themselves at the entrance of a restaurant called "Geb's B-B-Q Gibs House" Eyeing each other for approval, the group stepped in cautiously. Young girls with tight white shirts sat them down at a table, handed them their menus, and went back to serving the others.

Krig: Krig hungry. Krig don't like food here though...

Randy: Hey! The menus don't have any choices of food here. They sure do look nice though. Ohh, look at the pretty pictures on the side...

Antestarr: Hey guys, this isn't a menu for food. It's a menu for our next challange. There's a single player option, multiplayer option, as well as a configuration option here. This looks like a game menu. And from our surroundings, it appears to be something violent.

Sem: First person shooter. What else would it be?

Mase: So what should we do?

(NSP: OK, I left it open as to whether you want to go with single player (semi-story) or multiplayer (sorta like teh Arena, except more FPS style, not fighter-game[Ext 6] style). Everyone should be familiar with some version of a FPS, so feel free to include/make fun of what you know. This would also be a PRIME TIME for CookedHaggis to start writing, as a waiter perhaps, suggesting the singleplayer and offering to join. The writers themselves coudl have situation that parallel those in the fighter's realm, but the main funny situation to come out of that should be the anti-social ascpect as we enter a very social surrounding.)


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~Geb

Notes

Britt's Commentary

"The Capture the Giant Chicken Bone game plays out similarly to American Football[Ext 7] in these scenes. When Losien exclaims, "Run, Krig, run!" she is referencing the line from Forest Gump[Ext 8]. The word 'gibs'[Ext 9] was common parlance for shooter video games, referring to the splatter of body parts." ~ Britt the Writer

References

External References

  1. Switzerland article, Wikipedia.
  2. Keep Away article, Wikipedia.
  3. PlayStation article, Wikipedia.
  4. First-person Shooter article, Wikipedia.
  5. MSN Games article, Wikipedia.
  6. Fighting game article, Wikipedia.
  7. American Football article, Wikipedia.
  8. Forest Gump article, Wikipedia.
  9. Gibs article, Urban Dictionary.
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