In NeS1 Post 269, Semievil is reading the Canticle of Canticles and finds that the Porkus Malorkis will become the Sporkus Malorkis when the SPORK PATCH is activated. Unfortunately this also caused the sword to explode. The heroes run out of the Imperial Fortress just in time as the building explodes. Within the devastation, however, they find the Malorkis itself - the hilt that can become either the Porkus sword or the Sporkus sword.


Sem: "Sporkus? Sporkus..... hmm...."(flipping through the tome) "Sporkus, sporkus, sporkus, sporkus....... Ah! Sporkus! It says here that when the spork patch is activated the Porkus becomes the Sporkus, with a 5 minute self-destruct timer."

Sem: ".............."

Sem looks at his watch.

Sem: ".............."

Sem: "Fuq"

Geb: "I think that's our cue guys......... RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!!!"

The whole crew dashes off, with Krig using his smack-down-laying axe to cut a path in the opposite direction from where they had come. The sword explodes leaving the entire fortress in dust, but lo! in the center of the devastation sits the glorious Malorkus! Yes, the Malorkus, the legendary hilt of the Porkus and Sporkus alike, which will, when combined with the Porkus, become a sword of limitless power! Not to mention it will look badass!

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