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Leg Post 55 continues the journey of Medusa and Perseus as they cross the Mediterranean Ocean from Greece to reach the African continent. They are met by Athena who warns them that Poseidon knows of their coming and he has sent The Cetus, the gigantic sea serpent, to intercept them. Though they are almost eaten by the monster, the Roman god of the ocean, Neptune, and his wife, Salacia, intervene by creating a maelstrom to suck down The Cetus and free the heroes to continue on for Ethiopia. In Ethiopia Britt is upset that Andromeda is going to be given over to Poseidon and that her father, King Cepheus, is resigned to this fact. Andromeda begins to climb the makeshift tower built to offer her up but is too nervous to climb properly. When Medusa and Perseus arrive they realise they are too late as they see the woman atop of the tower and Poseidon appears before her. However the woman turns out to be Britt in disguise and he tries to defeat Poseidon with his tea-powers, to no avail. Poseidon vows he will destroy Ethiopia and he will still rape Andromeda afterwards. Britt kicks him between the legs and the god vanishes in pain. Moments later and Perseus scoops up Britt, thinking he was rescuing a woman. Athena explains that she only sent the two to save Britt, as the future relies upon his continued existence, but the three mortals refuse to leave Ethiopia and its people to The Cetus. The monster appears from the clouds and the land begins to break apart. Medusa remembers her old head and they fly down to confront the monster. Perseus holds up the head and The Cetus turns to stone, but his huge body smashes much of the nation to dust, though everyone survives. Afterwards, during the celebrations, the heartbroken king quietly dies to be with his wife, Cassiopeia. Many years later and Perseus is King of Mycenae with many of the citizens of Ethiopia joining his kingdom in Greece. Andromeda marries him and they rule together. The Gorgon sisters come to bury Medusa's old head, accidentally creating the evil aspect of Medusa as a demon in Pandæmonium.

Post

The pegasus soared across the Mediterranean Ocean with the human male upon her back. Her beautiful, feathered wings beat against the air and her hooves worked as though she were running on the sky itself. But even as the northern shoreline of the African continent comes into view over the horizon, a woman appeared alongside the pegasus.

Athena: "We've got trouble."

Medusa: "Jesus Christ my heart!"

Perseus: "It's nice that your sister is always in your heart, Medusa."

Athena was flying with them, but she was completely unaffected by the wind that buffeted them. This created a bizarre image where the god looked like a cartoon drawing that was just moving along, superimposed on the real sky.

Medusa: "What's the trouble? Let me guess. Poseidon knows we're coming."

Athena: "In a nutshell, yes."

Perseus: "But he's not allowed to directly interfere, right? Isn't that a rule or something?"

Athena: "He can't. But that..."

They looked down to see a peculiar shadow swimming beneath the ocean waves. It was long and narrow and before Medusa could think to move, the creature burst from the water. Sea foam blasted in every direction as the long, sea serpent snaked its way straight up into the sky. Its long body was navy blue and its tail was finned with three, pretty, orange fins. Along its body were many other, much smaller, orange fins but its maw was clearly that of a snake as the forked tongue reached out ahead of its muzzle. The whole body length was just over ten miles long, double the height of Mount Everest, and as it ascended into the air the body coiled like a spring. It was clear how much a monster would be capable of transforming the landscape of an entire country like Ethiopia.

Medusa suddenly climbed higher and higher. The maw of the beast reached up and up.

Perseus whipped out his machine gun and opened fire. The bullets went down into the beast's gullet with no affect.

The Cetus clamped its jaw shut with a tremendous slam! Medusa felt a few of her tail hairs snag between its lips.

Medusa: "Wow, wow, wow. That was bloody close!"

The sea monster then turned its head down and plunged back into the dark, tumultuous ocean.

Perseus: "How in the buggery are we supposed to fight that!?"

Athena: "You don't! Fly you fools!"

Medusa: "That's a stupid reference."

Athena: "Go!"

Medusa beat her wings and tried to gain as much speed as she could, still aiming for the distant shoreline. She could see fisheries and markets with colourful bazaar canopies. Narrow, Egyptian ships sailed lazily towards the shore. From below they could see the shadow of the beast travelling along with them. The rear of its body hadn't even finished returning to the depths from its last leap before the head reared again and burst from the saltwater. This time Medusa plunged downwards, easily avoiding the head. The head then came down after them.

Perseus: "Do a barrel roll!!"

The pegasus rolled herself aside and The Cetus yawned past them.

Even with this minor victory, there was still miles and miles of ocean to cover before they could reach the land and Medusa felt her stamina beginning to flag. Her hooves beat heavily and her wings flapped weaker.

Perseus: "Faster! Faster!"

Medusa: "How about you do the flying and I ride on your back!?"

Below the shadow of the monster was swimming beneath them again, deep below the water's membrane. But then they noticed something forming in the ocean. A great swirling motion had started and it was tugging all the water into its centre. The whirlpool built up and up into a powerful maelstrom, which was pulling in the ocean from miles around. Even the distant boats on the Egyptian sea were feeling the pull and they sailed back for the shore. The fearsome Cetus fought against the pull of the vortex but this was no natural phenomenon. From their lowered position, the heroes were able to see a strange, water-bound chariot being pulled by hippocamps around and around the vortex but never going in. Riding the chariot was Neptune, Roman god of the ocean, and his wife Salacia. While Neptune steered the chariot with all his concentration, Salacia waved up at Perseus and Medusa before their chariot passed by.

The Cetus was pulled tightly by the maelstrom and around and around it went, winding around the funnel and being drawn ever deeper towards the bottom of the ocean.

Athena: "That would last forever. You need to reach Ethiopia. I will meet you there."

Athena vanished and the pegasus continued her charge across the sky to Africa.

----------

Britt: "You're seriously going to sacrifice your daughter to that animal?"

The crowd of Ethiopians had gathered and were escorting King Cepheus, Princess Andromeda and Britt the Builder to the newly constructed tower. Andromeda was to stand at the top of the tower and await her fate at the hands of the lecherous Poseidon.

King Cepheus: "It's her dignity or the lives of an entire kingdom."

Britt: "She'll be robbed of a lot more than just dignity."

The king stopped.

King Cepheus: "So you'll have me sacrifice the lives of everyone instead? Including hers, no doubt."

Britt clamped his lips tight. The king was right but that didn't make the decision a good one. Though in her heart, Andromeda was unwilling to give herself over to Poseidon, she was willing to sacrifice herself for the sake of the Ethiopian people. Many of the peasants cried and wailed as she went by, deeply affected by her actions to save them. She approached the ladder and vowed that she would fight Poseidon with tooth and nail when he came for her, but she would be there and he could not destroy the country.

Britt: "Damn the gods. Where are you!?"

He called out to the sky as though one of the gods might intervene. He knew there was rules to that kind of thing. Gods weren't allowed to directly interfere with the actions of another but often there were loopholes. They could cause something else to interfere with events - hire a great hero to save the day, accidentally make a vortex to suck down sea-monsters. Britt wondered if he could attack Poseidon with his tasseomancy. He watched Andromeda slowly begin to climb the ladder. Her hands shook and she almost fell. As selfish as he strove to be, he couldn't always ignore himself and let things be.

Britt: "There must be something I can do?"

----------

After crossing the African continent, Perseus and Medusa were finally flying above the lands of Ethiopia. They began to descend. Down there they could see a tall, makeshift tower of wood and at its peak was a woman with long, dark hair and a flowing, white dress of silk. She was stood awaiting her fate.

Medusa: "I won't let Poseidon do this again!"

Perseus: "We'll get to her in time!"

But even as they neared the god suddenly appeared on the tower, his muscular form towered over the human girl.

Medusa: "No!!"

----------

Poseidon: "And so here you are, oh Most-Beautiful-Girl-in-the-World! Your father gave you up. Your people gave you up. Mortals will always choose survival for themselves."

He reached down and his massive palm cupped the girl's face.

Poseidon: "Hey. Weren't you black before? And I don't think you had a beard."

Britt: "Ha!"

Britt blasted Poseidon with hot, scolding tea. He had borrowed Andromeda's dress and donned a cheap wig. Britt had banked on the stupidity of the god's arrogance and it paid off. Poseidon reeled back and almost fell from the tower but he did regain his composure. He stood stock still with the tea blasting into his face.

Poseidon: "You know, just because you put some leaves in water, it doesn't stop it being water?"

Poseidon manipulated the tea, as though he had tasseomancy powers himself, and it moved around his head. Realising he had been thwarted already Britt stopped. Poseidon caused the tea to disappear.

Poseidon: "I am entertained, I'll give you that. But since she is not here, then this whole land will now be swept under the sea."

Britt: "You don't have to do this. Just bugger off and leave everyone alone."

Poseidon: "I'm a god. I don't have to do anything. But I want to."

He smirked.

Poseidon: "Maybe after The Cetus has wiped this land from the face of the Earth I'll see if I can't find our delicate little flower anyway. It's like having my cake and eating it! That's the right expression, isn't it?"

Suddenly, much to Poseidon's surprised, Britt ran at him. His foot swung up and CRACK! He booted the god straight between the legs.

With a howl of agony Poseidon vanished.

Britt: "At least he'll have that to remember us by!"

Perseus: "Don't worry, fair maiden, I'll save you!!"

Britt: "Huh?"

Suddenly Britt was swept up into the arms of a strong, handsome man.

Britt: "I'm not gay!"

Perseus: "Huh!? Oh! You're a man! Sorry dude! I thought it was always damsels that needed rescuing!"

Medusa: "Can I rescue him instead then?"

Britt: "I don't need rescuing! And is that a talking horse?"

Perseus: "Pegasus."

Britt: "Well, I'm sorry to tell you both this but you've come at a bad time. We're about to be eaten by a sea monster."

Perseus: "Yeah, we saw it. But don't worry, Athena sent us to save the day!"

Britt: "She did? Well then! At least one god is doing something! What's the plan?"

Medusa: "Honestly, I don't think there is one. It was mostly just 'go to save someone so the future is safe'."

Perseus: "Yeah. The girl who was going to be sacrificed is already safe?"

Britt: "Safe for now, but she'll be drowned along with everyone else."

Perseus: "So we still need to save the land to save the future!"

Athena: "Actually..."

Medusa: "Jesus Crap-on-a-stick!"

Perseus: "Uh, I don't know if I want to know about your sister anymore..."

Athena: "You saved Britt. He's the one whose death would damage the future."

Britt: "Huh?"

Athena: "Time-travelling, pain-in-the-arse that you are you've already become involved in future events even when this post is being written."

Britt: "Here comes the Story bollocks. Fine. I'm saved. Let me back down there."

Athena: "You can't go back down there, you'll die with everyone else."

From the sky they hear a thunderous rumble and as they look up they see The Cetus now tumbling down from the clouds. Rain came down with it and was soon followed by a crack of lightning. The land below started to crack open and water came bubbling up to the surface.

Britt: "We can't leave them all to die!"

Perseus: "What can we do to stop a monster like that!?"

Medusa: "The answer is obvious!"

Perseus: "It is?"

Athena: "Even I'm confused."

Britt: "I am not alone in the world, how wonderful."

Medusa: "Use me!"

Britt: "I just stopped one woman being used..."

Medusa: "I don't mean have sex with me--"

Her eyes swivel back to Britt.

Medusa: "Although..."

Britt: "You're a horse."

Medusa: "Oh yeah, damn. I meant use my head!"

Britt: "Yeah, you have a horse-head too, so no."

Perseus: "Ha! She means this!!"

Perseus yanked Medusa's old head from the satchel, careful not to point its eyes at Britt.

Britt: "That is really gross."

Medusa: "Hey! That's my head! Be nice!"

The pegasus swung down and zoomed ahead of The Cetus. Medusa positioned herself before the chasm of its mouth and Perseus held up Medusa's old snake-head. The eyes glare at the monster and, in a matter of moments, the mighty sea serpent is turned into stone. The ten mile body fell to the earth with a horrific crash and shattered into pieces- sending rocks in all directions. Homes were destroyed, lands were ruined. But everyone survived to tell the tale.

----------

The celebration was in full swing. The heroes Britt, Perseus and Medusa were honoured by the people of Ethiopia. Only the remaining royal family were not so jubilant. Andromeda was unhappy but she wore a brave face. The king was despondent and slouched in his chair. The celebrations were outside so that all of the people could admire their saviours, but the king kept his own company within a tent. He listened to the cheering outside and the music playing. They had all been saved but his wife had not.

Her incessant nagging and talking was suddenly missed. Her constant presence at his side, hovering around him every waking minute was like a gaping chasm.

The kingdom was in tatters and would likely not recover for centuries. His daughter had seen him at the very weakest any man could be and she would never look upon him as she once had. With those tearful thoughts he gazed into space, through the open tent flap, and he could have sworn he could see his wife in the stars. He closed his eyes.

And died.

----------

The Kingdom of Mycenae was unlike most other Greek kingdoms - it was a land for all peoples and races. Many of the Ethiopians migrated with their new king to the Greek mainland and began constructing houses and farms. The small field of dead turnips was now a massive city and grew larger and larger with every passing day.

King Perseus ruled as a fair and good man with kindness in his heart and a love of people. He was always found working the fields, building the walls, tending the sheep with the people that served under him. And his dear wife, the dark-skinned beauty Andromeda, was a great scholar and inventor who devised creations and methods and philosophies that would go on to inspire great Athenians in later generations, such as Plato. Britt the Builder helped design many of the towns buildings but most of them fell down soon after completion. Oddly, nobody minded and simply continued to rebuild them over and over.

Medusa may have been a pegasus but her sisters still visited. When the two women learnt that Britt had been using Medusa's old head to turn bandits into decorative statues for his buildings, they demanded that the head be handed over to them for a proper funeral. The head was buried, even with coins over the eyes for Charon, the boatman. What none of them could have known was that Medusa's soul had been split into two fragments. The free part of her that strove for redemption was within the pegasus, but the arrogant, self-centred, vain and spiteful part of her was still within the head that had been buried. Upon that soul descending to the afterlife she became the demon Medusa that would come to rule the city of Pandæmonium as its beautiful but frightful liege.

Notes

Britt's Commentary

"This is very, very loosely based on the original Greek Mythology[Ext 1] of Perseus[Ext 2] and Andromeda[Ext 3]. The 'fly you fools' line was a reference to the line used in The Lord of the Rings[Ext 4] while the line 'do a barrel roll' was from the Starfox[Ext 5] meme." ~ Britt the Writer

References

External References

  1. Greek Mythology article, Wikipedia.
  2. Perseus article, Wikipedia.
  3. Andromeda article, Wikipedia.
  4. The Lord of the Rings (film series) article, Wikipedia.
  5. Starfox article, Wikipedia.
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