Leg Post 49 sees Sir Caelia awaken after Oberon's Tiara attacked her in Pan Post 37. She is in Sir Lanval's house and he reveals he was once the squire to Sir Menw and learnt of the old ways of Britannia. He helps her make her way back to her workshop where the tiara remains. She put the tiara in a chest and asked Sir Lanval to find an empty hut and have two knights guarding it at all times. She then studies the Lightning Amulet for a while, comparing its design to the one she remembered from the tiara. Wanting help from Merlin the Younger, Sir Caelia contacts King Arthur through a communicator. She asks Arthur to get Merlin, though he is hesitant to interrupt what he calls the space coven. Morganna le Fay turns him into a teapot but with the threat of turning him into a vibrator. Merlin agrees to go to the Waterfall District with Arthur. When Caelia inspects the hut where the tiara is stored she finds it is guarded by Sir Blue Menthol and Sir Dinadan - two she considers inept. They want to throw the chest into a river and forget about it but Caelia wants to study it. After they try to outvote her they fall quiet when Arthur arrives with Merlin. Caelia reveals she just wanted Arthur to keep him from the mercy of Morganna and that she needs to study the Lightning Amulet with Merlin.
Defend Her Box
Sir Caelia awoke with a pounding headache. She remembered the voice in her head and she remembered the sinister feeling she had felt ebbing from it. The tiara was evidently possessed but by who or what she had no idea and she wasn't about to go playing with the damn thing to find out.
She swung her short legs from the bed and looked around. She didn't know where she was but there were a lot of potted plants. Initially she assumed it had to be the Greene Knight's home but then in stepped Sir Lanval. When he saw she was awake he grinned at her broadly.
Sir Lanval: "I was worried you'd be out for days. Sir Greene Knight used some special plant to help take down the swelling in your head. I hate to think what might've happened if he wasn't around."
Sir Caelia: "Seems you and the Greene Knight have something in common. What's with all the plants?"
Sir Lanval: "I suppose I've just always had an affinity for nature. I used to be Sir Menw's squire and he introduced me to the old ways of the land. I met many of your kindred, Sir Caelia."
Sir Caelia shrugged.
Sir Caelia: "Good for you."
Sir Lanval: "Sorry, I wasn't boasting. I was just- well you did ask."
Sir Lanval: "Tiara?"
Sir Caelia: "I hope nobody has been snooping around my workshop then?"
She staggered off the bed.
Sir Caelia: "Help me get there."
Sir Lanval: "Maaaaaaaaaaybe you should just rest up?"
Despite his protestation he slinked an arm around her and helped her from the best. Luckily she didn't wear armour and was light enough to help up with ease, though the height difference meant he had to squat to help. She didn't want to cast any magical aids in case she wore herself out again.
They left the house and Caelia glanced back to see dozens more potted plants all over the exterior of the small hut. There were a few native birds sitting on the roof too. Birds here were much bigger than on Britannia and these few were the size of big dogs. They cawed down at her. They didn't cause any harm so she ignored them for the most part. A few had been hunted for food and, much to everyone's surprise, they tasted like citrusy oranges instead of chicken. Weird.
They made it back to the longhouse that was Caelia's workshop in the Waterfall District. Many buildings were being erected around it so there were a lot of workmen dangling from wooden scaffolding and hammering in nails with constant banging. Caelia's head drummed with pain.
Inside she found that the tiara was still in place. She grabbed a chest and, with a stick, she pushed the tiara into it. She sealed it shut.
Sir Lanval: "Is this what hurt you?"
Sir Caelia: "It is. I want two knights to guard this thing night and day. Is there an empty hut I can use?"
Sir Lanval: "There's one just finished. It was supposed to be Sir Kay's hut."
Sir Caelia: "Bugger Kay."
Sir Lanval: "Uh... I should tell you, I'm not that kind of knight..."
Sir Caelia: "What?"
Sir Lanval: "Oh! Oh you meant-- right. Okay. Yes. Screw Sir Kay!"
Sir Caelia: "I'm married!"
Sir Lanval: "Huh? Oh, I meant like you said-- okay. Just nevermind Sir Kay."
She noticed that the Lightning Amulet had been left on her bench also. She mentally thanked Gamma Pans and gave the chest to Sir Lanval. He trooped off with it while she started inspecting the amulet. She noticed the same etchings and patterns were engraved and was certain it was from the same smith. She reached for the communications-device that she had been given. She tapped it a few times, gave it a smack and bashed it against the wall until she figured out how it was supposed to work.
Sir Caelia: "Hullo?"
There was a moment of silence.
Sir Caelia: "You have to push the button if you want to talk."
King Arthur: "Hullo? God?"
Sir Caelia: "Why would God use a communicator thing to talk to you? Can't he just talk into your head or something?"
King Arthur: "Oh right. This is Sir Caelia, right? I recognise your voice."
Sir Caelia: "Don't sound too happy to hear from me..." Caelia grumbled. "And don't call me Sir."
King Arthur: "What do you want? I'm in the middle of something."
Sir Caelia: "Dare I ask what?"
King Arthur: "I'm spying on my sister."
Sir Caelia: "... um. You know--"
King Arthur: "Not like that! I mean she's up to something!"
Sir Caelia: "Oh. It's about time. I thought she was turning all goody-goody on us. I don't need you or her anyway. I need Merlin."
King Arthur: "She's with Morgan."
Sir Caelia: "Oh wow. Now I wish I was spying too!"
King Arthur: "I know, right!? If they're both in on it, it must be something big!"
Sir Caelia: "Well, you need to interrupt them and get Merlin to come to me."
King Arthur: "No way am I going to interrupt a coven of space witches. I'm not suicidal."
Sir Caelia: "... space witches?"
King Arthur: "And their space coven!"
Sir Caelia: "It's important."
King Arthur: "More important than my life?"
Sir Caelia: "We both know that neither Merlin nor Morgan will kill you."
King Arthur: "No, but Morgan might turn me into something... unnatural."
Sir Caelia: "Like a vibrator?"
King Arthur: "What's a vi--"
Sir Caelia: "Nevermind. If you don't get Merlin, lives could be at stake. Or at least a lot of migraines."
King Arthur: "Fine, fine. Once again King Arthur must save the day."
There was a moment of silence over the communicator. Then a new voice answered.
Morganna le Fay: "What do you want, Caelia?"
Sir Caelia: "Uh... where's the king?"
Morganna le Fay: "I turned him into teapot."
Sir Caelia: "Ah. Well that's better than a vibrator."
Morganna le Fay: "GOOD IDEA!"
Sir Caelia: "No, no! That wasn't a suggestion! Just-- just tell Merlin to come to the Waterfall District. I need her expertise. And bring the teapot."
Some time later and Sir Caelia was stood before the former hut belonging to Sir Kay, which is now home to the tiara. Outside are two knights; The Knight of the Blue Menthol and Sir Dinadan. She looked from Sir Dinadan, who appeared to be a skinny little waif, to Sir Blue Menthol, who was puffing away on a pipe filled with blue smoke that did, as expected, smell like menthol.
Sir Caelia: "You're the best they could spare?"
Sir Dinadan: "Sounds to me, Daniel old chap, like we've been sacked before we even began!"
Sir Daniel: "So it does, my man. I guess we'd best be off and get back to smoking and chilling."
Sir Caelia: "Looks like you're already doing that just standing here."
She pointed accusingly at the pipe.
Sir Daniel: "I'm a rastafarian, my man. It's part of my religion."
Sir Caelia: "Pretty sure your religion doesn't exist yet."
Sir Daniel: "It does now!"
He drew a deep drag breathed out the blue smoke that cloyed the air. Sir Dinadan gave a sleepy smirk, high by proximity.
Sir Dinadan: "Never fear, my good lady. Your box is safe as houses."
Sir Daniel: "We're guarding her box now?"
Sir Dinadan: "What did you think we were guarding?"
Sir Daniel: "Her chest!"
Sir Dinadan: "I think guarding her box more important than her chest. But I suppose guarding one will be the same as guarding the other."
Sir Caelia narrowed her eyes.
Sir Caelia: "The wooden chest inside that house is what you're guarding."
The two men look at her and then look back at the house.
Sir Daniel & Sir Dinadan: "Aaaaaah."
They both nodded sagely.
Sir Daniel: "That makes more sense."
Sir Dinadan: "I thought it was weird to stand here defending your private parts!"
Sir Caelia: "Idiots."
Sir Dinadan: "Well, actually, my personal IQ score is over 120. Did a test on the internet to prove it."
Sir Caelia: "The internet hasn't been invented yet either."
Sir Dinadan: "That just shows how intelligent I am!"
He was tall as well as skinny and wore no armour. He just wore a tunic of grey and had what appeared to be a tie hanging around his neck like a noose. He had thick, goggle glasses on his face and the bare makings of a teenager trying to grow a beard. His hair was bright blonde and his skin was pasty white, quite the contrast to Sir Daniel whose skin was so dark he might have passed for a drow. His hair was black and worn in a mess of dreadlocks, the same as his long beard. He wore multi-coloured armour as red, gold, black and green stripes and a rastacap. They both had tall pikes, which she was sure were there just to lean on, not to actually use.
Sir Daniel: "So, man, I take it this wooden chest is important, right?"
Sir Dinadan: "It's not dangerous is it?"
Sir Caelia: "You're a knight of the round table. Danger is what you do!"
Sir Dinadan: "Well, there are different kinds of danger. I'm all about danger from paper cuts, for example. That's more my field of expertise."
Sir Caelia: "I should have the king review his knighting policies." She sniffed. "I feel like I'm high just being around you."
Sir Daniel: "Welcome to the faith, my sister. Pull up a chair and we can talk about the universe."
Sir Caelia: "Tempting as it is, there's a great evil sealed in that hut and I need you two to guard it."
The two men froze. Daniel's pipe fell from his lips.
Sir Dinadan: "I think I can hear-- my mum calling me."
Sir Daniel: "I think we need more chill around these parts. How about we throw away the wooden chest of evil and forget about it existing?"
Sir Caelia: "Because we need to know what we're dealing with. We need answers."
Sir Dinadan: "I don't think we want to know the answers. I'm with Sir Blue Menthol. We just dump it in a river."
Sir Caelia: "I don't remember this being debate."
Sir Dinadan: "All in favour of this being a debate, raise their hands."
The two of them rose their hands.
Sir Dinadan: "Those in favour of throwing the scare-box into the middle of a deep, deep river, raise their hands."
They both rose their hands again.
King Arthur: "What's this!?"
Sir Dinadan slammed his arm back down.
Sir Dinadan: "Nothing sire! Nothing at all! No democracy here!"
King Arthur: "I should think not!"
Sir Caelia: "Not a teapot anymore then?"
Merlin the Younger: "I turned him back."
King Arthur: "What did you need me for?"
Sir Caelia: "I didn't. I just wanted to make sure Morgan didn't turn you into her personal vibrator after all."
Sir Dinadan: "Wow. Um. Hello, excuse me? Could I be turned into Mor--"
King Arthur: "No."
Sir Dinadan: "Damn."
Sir Daniel: "Try nice, man."
King Arthur: "Does this mean I can go?"
Sir Caelia: "Yes."
King Arthur: "Dragging me across half the bloody planet..."
Sir Caelia: "Merlin. We need to look at that Lightning Amulet again."