Leg Post 35 returns to Sir Percival in the Algernon wilderness and his newly found damsel. Not knowing she is a succubus Sir Percival offers her his aid despite her attempted seductions. Before she can continue her charms they are interrupted by a barking of the Questing Beast as it storms by. It is momentarily followed by the roaring Sir Palamedes. Percival grasps the lady's hand and they give chase. Near to the Three Rivers Sir Gawain and his lady, Nona, comes across Sir Tom Thumb who brings his signature crude humour. He admits, however, that he has fallen in love with the cold-mannered Sir Lile Morians, much to the surprise of Gawain. Nona declares this to be his quest and Gawain eventually agrees to help. Tom's plan is to tell Lile that Tom is dead and thus stir the true feelings of the woman. Gawain rides alone to Sir Morians and asks to join her for a meal. He promises he is not after her cursed sword and she allows him to remain. In the Waterfall District, Sir Menw inquires after Oberon's Tiara. Sir Caelia asserts that he should throw it away because of the danger but she ultimately agrees to help him investigate and encourages him to find the missing pieces of the set.


Space Camelot

Love and Sex

Location: Algernon | Wilderness

Characters: Sir Percival | Succubus | Sir Palamedes | Questing Beast

Sir Percival looked down into the big, charming eyes of the strange woman under him. He suddenly became aware of the closeness of her skin and leapt to his feet. He held his hand down to help her up.

Sir Percival: "Sorry about that, m'lady! I hope you weren't hurt!?"

She stretched out her hand and accepted his help. She slid to her feet rather than climbed and staggered, conveniently, into his arms.

Succubus: "Oh dear me..."

He blushed and tried not to avert his eyes. She was wearing a skin-tight dress of black and her lips were painted of equal colour - contrasting with her very pale white skin. Her was bare footed and appeared totally human save for the two small, black horns poking out of her dark her and the long tail from the bottom of her spine. She purrs through her words and gazed at Percival through bright, wide eyes.

Sir Percival cleared his throat and steadied her out before retracting himself from her person.

Sir Percival: "My lady. What brings you to these parts?"

Succubus: "Oh, I am a mere damsel in search of a good... strong... manly... knight."

Sir Percival: "Well! You'll find plenty of them today! Knights of the Round Table everywhere!"

Succubus: "Yes. I know. I believe I have found... one..."

She planted her palm on his breastplate.

Sir Percival: "Ah. Well. I wouldn't like to speak so vainly of myself, but if I may assist you I shall! What ails you m'lady?"

Succubus: "Well, you see, I have this itch... and I need you to... scratch it for me."

She threw her arms around his neck.

Sir Percival: "Well, I, uh, I, could find a good back scratcher for you!"

Succubus: "It's not my back that is itching for you..."

Before she could demonstrate what exactly was itching, there came a panicked yelping sound that drew nearer and nearer.

Sir Percival: "Behind me, m' lady! Danger is afoot!"

Succubus: "It's not my foot that itches either..."

From the nearby foliage burst a monstrous beast with a snake's head and a leopard's body. The hideous thing was wailing like a crying dog as it stormed past them. There followed an eerie silence.

Sir Percival: "Well that was odd."

Then there came a roaring noise.


They watched the knight, swinging his sword over head, as he charged in the wake of the Questing Beast.

Succubus: "Glad I'm not seducing that guy."

Sir Percival: "What was that?"

Succubus: "Nothing~!"

They continued staring at the figure of Palamedes as he vanished into the forest.

Succubus: "Now! Where were we?"

Before she could resume Sir Percival drew his own blade.

Sir Percival: "Come, m'lady! That good knight is in dire need! I'll keep you safe, do not fear!"

He grabbed her pale hand and yanked her after him as he plunged into the undergrowth after Sir Palamedes.

Location: Algernon | Near to the Three Rivers

Characters: Sir Gawain | Sir Tom Thumb | Nona | The Knight of the Castle of Maidens

Sir Gawain and his lady, Nona, had travelled along the riverside of the third river of the Three Rivers split and were blessed with good weather and beautiful scenes. Before long they see a mounted knight in the distance and Gawain realised from the knight's stature that he was Sir Tom Thumb.

Sir Gawain: "Ho, Sir Tom!"

Sir Tom Thumb: "Who're you callin' a ho?"

Sir Gawain: "Ever the crude wit, I see."

Sir Tom Thumb: "Or hear, as the case may be."

Tom lifted the visor of his helm to reveal his youthful face. Many people often mistook him for a child thanks to his youthful features and shortness but he was a dwarf and the only dwarf to become a knight of the realm. His armour was navy blue, painted to the same dark colour as his tunic.

Sir Gawain: "This is Nona. She's a fair maiden of these parts."

Sir Tom Thumb: "Heya, love. Why're you hangin' around a wanker like Gawain?"

Nona rose a curious eyebrow.

Nona: "Are other knights this rude?"

Sir Gawain: "He thinks he's being funny."

Sir Tom Thumb: "I am funny. So, have you done the night time dance with him yet?"

Nona: "Night time dance?"

Sir Gawain: "I think it'd be best if you ignored Sir Tom, Lady Nona."

Sir Tom Thumb: "Oh. Hold on a minute--" He pulled out a pair of glasses and squinted at her. "How old are you?"

Nona: "Of legal age."

Sir Gawain: "Barely."

Sir Tom Thumb: "Now you're talkin' my language!"

Sir Gawain: "Tom! She's innocent and doesn't understand!"

Nona: "I bloody do!"

Sir Tom Thumb: "Old in spirit, eh?"

He then shook himself.

Sir Tom Thumb: "No, no! I can't. I have to be true to my love!"

Sir Gawain: "You're in love? You?"

Sir Tom Thumb: "That's right! She's right up my alley! Or rather I wanna be right up her alley! If you know what I mean! Nudge, nudge, wink, wink! Know what I mean, eh?"

Sir Gawain: "I think I get the picture."

Nona: "Who is the... lucky... lady?"

Sir Tom Thumb: "The one, the only, Lady Lile!"

Sir Gawain would have spat out his coffee had he any.

Sir Gawain: "You mean The Knight of the Castle of Maidens? Sir Lile Morians? Lady Soon-as-poke-your-eye-out-with-a-sword-than-look-at-you?"

Nona: "That's a very long name!"

Sir Tom Thumb: "I bet she has thighs of STEEL!"

Sir Gawain: "That's... probably something. But she's... mean!"

Sir Tom Thumb: "I bet she's filled with affection deep down. She just needs to know where to point it. Preferably a little south from my naval."

Nona: "This does sound like a challenging quest, Sir Gawain. Perhaps you should aid your fellow knight?"

Sir Gawain: "I don't know, that might be a quest well beyond mortal men."

Sir Tom Thumb: "Are you saying she don't date dwarves?"

Sir Gawain: "No... I'm not even saying she doesn't date bastards."

Sir Tom Thumb: "I'll have you know my parents were married when I was conceived! Admittedly to other people, but married nonetheless!"

Sir Gawain: "I think she just doesn't date, full stop. She's got that whole 'I'm an estranged badass' thing going on."

Sir Tom Thumb: "She's a kitten really."

Sir Gawain: "Do you even know where she is? I thought she left early in the morning."

Sir Tom Thumb: "Aye! I've been followin' her!"

Sir Gawain: "Pretty sure that's called stalking."

Sir Tom Thumb: "She likes it when I watch."

Sir Gawain: "I doubt that."

Sir Tom Thumb: "Look, I even have a cunning plan!"

Sir Gawain: "Why am I not surprised?"

Sir Tom Thumb: "She keeps playin' coy and sayin' she hates me and wants me dead. So you go over and tell her you killed me and then she'll realise she wanted me and misses me and be all 'oh woe is me' and she'll hate you. Then I show up and she'll be like, 'Gordon's alive!!![Ext 1]'... only she'll say Tom, not Gordon."

Sir Gawain: "I don't know..."

Sir Tom Thumb: "It'll work!"

Sir Gawain: "Well... if you say so. Fine. I'll help you."

Nona: "And the quest is on!"

Tom gave Gawain the exact coordinates to Sir Lile Morians' position and Gawain left his lady, though with some trepidation, with Sir Tom Thumb. The dwarven knight promised to keep his hands to himself and his leering to a minimum. Gawain travelled for just half an hour before he spotted a campfire and the smell of cooking fish drifted upon the breeze. That would be a fine excuse, he thought to himself.

Sir Gawain: "Sir Lile! Would you mind sharing your fine meal with me?"

She just shrugged. She had barely moved from her log as he approached and even now only gave him the smallest glance. She nodded toward the pan where a few little fishes were well on their way to be chargrilled. She certainly didn't have the cooking skills women were expected to have. Gawain hopped off his horse and took a seat by the fire. For a moment he forgot why he was even here and just enjoyed the warmth and the food.

Sir Lile Morians: "You're not here for my sword, are you Gawain?"

Sir Gawain: "No! Never! I wouldn't stoop so low."

Sir Lile Morians: "Good. You can have the extra fish then."

Location: Algernon | Waterfall District

Characters: Sir Caelia | Sir Menw

Sir Caelia: "Interesting piece."

Sir Menw: "I should expect so. But is there anything you can tell me about it? It almost seems as if there's a... presence around it. I feel it. Like a person standing over me whenever I touch it."

Sir Caelia looked from Menw to the tiara and back again.

Sir Caelia: "Wow. You really should have said that in the first place. Get rid of it."

Sir Menw: "What?"

Sir Caelia: "It probably has a memory or soul attached to the damned thing and it's never a good thing. It'll probably try to possess you or kill you or make you play golf, or some other equally abhorrent thing."

Sir Menw: "But this belonged to Prince Oberon or Lady Titania. Could it be their spirit attached to the tiara?"

Caelia screwed up her face.

Sir Caelia: "I doubt it! But, I don't know. Maybe? I don't think it's worth the risk of finding out. Dump it in a lake and be done with it."

Sir Menw: "Really? This is an heirloom to your people!"

Sir Caelia: "I'm an Aes Sidhe and we're all the same? Racist."

Sir Menw rolled his eyes. Sometimes even the oldest of Aes Sidhe acted like children and faeries were notorious for it.

Sir Menw: "I think it's part of a set."

Sir Caelia: "And do you know where the other pieces are?"

Sir Menw: "No. But I have a few theories."

Sir Caelia: "Leave the tiara with me then and find your missing pieces."

Sir Menw: "Thought you wanted to throw it away."

Sir Caelia: "I never listen to my own good advice."


External References

  1. Cult Following Section, Flash Gordon (film) article, Wikipedia.
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