Leg Post 2 is a one-shot post that explains how most deities of the Multiverse would usually play chess, however the habit has been superseded by the art of poker thanks to Highemperor's passion for the game. HorseGod chastises both the Narrator for Highemperor propaganda and a Random Audience Member who doesn't understand why a HorseGod would be in the Eternal Narrative Pantheon. Ultimately the Uberdivine Chess Tournament of the Eons is replaced by the Uberdivine Poker Tournament of the Eons of the Week.



Chess is the game of the gods, as everyone knows. Anyone who purports to be someone - whether a mastermind, an entity of elemental Death, or a nigh-omnipotent deity - must have at least basic proficiency in this game if they want to be taken seriously.

HorseGod: But then, who cares about being taken seriously?

Certainly not you, HorseGod, but your opinion hardly counts--

HorseGod: Hey!

--given that you're the jester of the Eternal Narrative Pantheon.

HorseGod: Stupid no-good Narrator, I liked it better when James Earl Jones[Ext 1] had the position...

Random Audience Member: Er, I'm not entirely certain what an 'eternal narrative pantheon' is, but it doesn't seem the sort of thing that a, well, a horse deity would be a member of.

HorseGod: You're new here, aren't you?

Random Audience Member: Yeah, this is the first show I'm attending, why?

HorseGod: Oh, no reason.

Ahem. If I may be allowed to continue. Where was I? Oh, yes, chess. The game of the gods. At least, until Highemperor came along. Known as Highemp for short, he was the supreme powerplayer and by far the most omnipotent being EVAR--

HorseGod: The frack? Dude, he is not. Don't tell me you're falling for his publicity.

No, but I get a generous stipend for spreading his propaganda.

HorseGod: Including saying 'EVAR' in all caps?

Do you really think I'd be saying it otherwise?

HorseGod: Okay, but you do realize that Highemp has been trapped in an uber meta-time lock and is as good as dead forever, right?

Sure, but until the automatic drafts to my account stop coming in, I'll keep spreading the propaganda. Now kindly stop interrupting. Okay, lessee...right. Highemp. His favored pastime, according to popular legend, is poker. No one knows why, but given that he cowed a lot of the other high muckity-mucks of the multiverse, many of them took up poker instead of chess. Frankly, it requires far less mental energy than chess too, which suits them fine, given that gods and similar types are usually notoriously lazy. I mean, if you had omnipotence sufficient to do whatever you wanted just by thinking about it, would you want to actually put forth any real effort on something?

Random Audience Member: That's a depressing interpretation of the almighty powers governing our world.

So the Uberdivine Chess Tournament of the Eons was superseded by the Uberdivine Poker Tournament of the Eons.

HorseGod: Of the week.


HorseGod: The Uberdivine Poker Tournament of the Eons of the Week. I mean, there's a new one of these ULTIMATE FINAL SHOWDOWN type things every week, man.

You would make a terrible Narrator. You have no sense of flair or drama.

HorseGod: Hey, you're the one who said I specialize in comedy.

Random Audience Member: Hey, are we ever gonna actually get to the poker tournament part? ::huh::

HorseGod: Doubtful! ::awesome::


External References

  1. James Earl Jones article, Wikipedia.
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.