Leg Post 140 opens with Māui and Nanabozho, both trickster gods, being instructed in Prometheus' plan to get by the Guardians of The Dreaming. They are unable to follow what Prometheus is talking about and the two trickster gods have a very sour relationship straight off, verbally sniping at each other constantly. Nanabozho, as a rabbit, poops rabbit pellets on the ground, much to the disgust of Māui. Māui, however, also has the disgusting habit of smoking, and Prometheus keeps snatching his cigarettes from him so he would be in top condition for the caper. When Prometheus raises the topic of "The Dreaming", Māui thinks they need to "grass" to get there, though Nanabozho is confused as he'd eaten grass all day. Prometheus further elaborates that The Dreaming is where dreams, including ambitions, are formed, but the WriterGod created barriers to the Dreaming that would prevent humans from growing ambitious. So they had to get past the Karatgurk, the seven sister guardians, to get into The Dreaming and going to another planet, as Māui suggests, wouldn't work as the Gift of Fire needed to make instant contact with humanity, for fear of being gifted upon another alien species such as the rockmen of Venus. When Māui grew too annoyed with Nanabozho, he backhands the rabbit and sends him flying off - Prometheus, caught up in his schemes, didn't notice. Māui wishes to know details of the Karatgurk, particularly he wants to know if they are beautiful women or scary monsters. Prometheus is able to confirm that they have the guise of humans. A moment later, much to the shock of Māui, Nanabozho returns and suggests they seek the wisdom of Spider Grandmother, who lies in Spider Rock on Antediluvia. Māui is disappointed that she is an old woman, though Nanabozho is quick to remind him that she's beyond time, being an originator of the web of time. Prometheus further explains that the Karatgurk are limited in their interactions with humanity, part of their pact with the WriterGod as they are foreign deities to Earth, but they have interactions with gods, and one of them, Maia, is the mother of Hermes. The Greeks know them as the Pleiades.
Post[]
The Great Fire Caper Pt II[]
Māui: “Why are we looking at a white board?”
Prometheus turned from the white board he had set up and waggled his marker pen at the two sat before him.
Prometheus: “So we can plan! Strategise! Tacticise!”
Māui: “That’s not a word.”
Prometheus: “This is our plan of attack!”
He started drawing circles and lines and arrows on the board.
Prometheus: “We approach from this direction, Māui will pass to Nanabozho and then we strike the centre as a team while Nanabozho makes a touch down at the end zone!”
Māui: “Pass what? And you know the rabbit doesn’t have hands, right?”
Nanabozho: “I do too! What do you call these!?”
The rabbit waggles its forepaws.
Māui: “Feet! You have four feet!”
Nanabozho: “That’s specist!”
Māui: “That’s not a word either. You’re both losers. Why did I agree to come with you again?”
Prometheus: “Because it’s going to be awesome!”
Māui: “Well, so far, things aren’t living up to my expectations.”
Prometheus: “Kids these days. You’re desensitised by all this modern technology!”
Māui: “Uh, like… rice farms? That’s about advanced as it gets in 3 Million BC.”
Nanabozho grunted and Māui looked down to see the rabbit pooping out pellets.
Māui: “Gross dude!”
Nanabozho: “Better out than in!”
Māui: “If you were a human, would you do that!?”
Nanabozho: “Humans don’t poop?”
Māui: “They at least do it behind trees so nobody has to watch!”
With a carefree stretch, the rabbit scratched his ear with his hindleg.
Nanabozho: “Humans and their pointless sensibilities. If the gods that made them didn’t want them to poop, they don’t have made them that way. Shit free, that’s what I say!”
Māui: “Maybe you should go drown free instead.”
Māui took out a cigarette and started to light it.
Nanabozho: “Just watch out next time you’re eating a bowl of raisins…”
Māui sneered down at the rabbit, but before he could retort, Prometheus snatched the cigarette from his lips and stamped it into the earth.
Māui: “Bruh!”
Prometheus: “From now on, no more smoking. I need you both in top shape if we’re to pull this plan off!”
Māui: “You haven’t even said what the plan is!”
Prometheus pointed at the board, encompassing the endless squiggles and arrows.
Māui: “How about you use words instead?”
Prometheus groaned.
Prometheus: “Fine. The plan is to retrieve the divine flame from The Dreaming!”
Māui suddenly perked up.
Māui: “Now we’re talking! I’ll get the grass, light up and we’ll smoke our way to The Dreaming.”
Nanabozho: “I’ve been eating grass all day and I haven’t been dreaming anything.”
Māui: “Bruh, not that grass. True grass, my man. Weed. The funny fags.”
Prometheus: “Young man…”
Māui: “Gramps.”
Prometheus: “I don’t mean getting high. I mean The Dreaming. We need to be there, physically and in control. Not breezing through some warped fantasy you concoct by destroying your synapses.”
Māui stared up at Prometheus as though he’d been clubbed with a dumb-inducing rock.
Prometheus: “The problem is, The Dreaming, right now, is guarded from Earth. To stop humans having grand dreams and acting on them, connection to The Dreaming is limited.”
Māui: “Road trip to Mars then?”
Prometheus blinked.
Prometheus: “Mars? I don’t think he’d help us.”
Māui: “I meant the planet. We can leave Earth.”
Prometheus: “Won’t work. We need to bring the divine flame straight into the human psyche from The Dreaming, without bypassing through whatever random alien species might be between us and the Earth. Bringing divine fire to those rockmen on Venus would be funny, but a waste of our time.”
Māui: “How’d you like your rock, sir? Medium-well?”
Prometheus and Māui had a good chuckle at this stupid joke, while Nanabozho frowned his fuzzy face at them.
Nanabozho: “Rockmen? What are you talking about?”
Prometheus: “Aliens on other worlds. Doesn’t matter. We need to get past the guardians to The Dreaming, the seven Karatgurk.”
Māui: “And what are they when they’re at home?”
Prometheus: “They’re the Karatgurk. Didn’t I just say that?”
Māui: “I meant who are they?”
Prometheus: “They’re… the Karatgurk.”
Māui: “Are you senile already?”
Prometheus: “You mean you want details?”
Māui: “Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees!”
Prometheus: “Then why didn’t you just say that!?”
Māui: “If you keep on like this, I will be forced to smoke a gallon of weed just to get over this experience.”
Nanabozho: “Gallon is for liquids.”
When Prometheus’ back was momentarily turned, Māui swiped at Nanabozho with a backhand and sent the rabbit soaring off. Prometheus, stroking his bare chin, turned and Māui straightened up his back attentively and, as best he could, innocently.
Prometheus: “The Karatgurk are the seven sisters that are assigned to guard The Dreaming. They were given the role by that WriterGuy.”
Māui: “The one who made those pacts on the Earth, right? I never understood that stuff.”
Prometheus: “So far as I understand it, it’s a bit like divine laws. Like that Egyptian god, Ma’at. Laws that apply to gods.”
Māui: “You’d think all those gods out there would just shrug and tell him to sod off.”
Prometheus: “I think that’s the point. Their divine laws. They can’t. They have to obey them, whether they will it or not. Like… creating a computer code, the computer has to run the code, it has no other choice.”
Māui: “WriterGuy sounds like an asshole.”
Prometheus: “I agree! And that’s why we’re going to find loopholes! Like this little caper of ours! You see? We are on the same page!”
Māui: “Heh. Page. Like, because he’s a writer guy, right?”
Prometheus: “Uh, sure. We’re on the literal same page and the metaphorical.”
Māui frowned.
Māui: “Literal Page? Did you start smoking the weed to get to The Dreaming already?”
Prometheus: “No smoking! We might have to run for our lives, don’t you know?”
Māui: “…is it too late to back out of this?”
Prometheus: “There are seven Karatgurk sisters!”
Māui: “Guess that’s a yes…”
Prometheus: “Each of them was originally a god of a star of the same cluster, but they came here at the WriterGod’s behest and guard the access point to The Dreaming. I remember the first human, a big bloke named Adam, tried to get through a few centuries ago, but ended up being spanked and told to get lost.”
Māui: “Are they hot?”
Prometheus: “What?”
Māui: “The Karatgurk sisters, are they hot? If I get spanked by some hot babes, I won’t complain. Hot MILFs[Ext 1] would be even better.”
Prometheus: “Hot milk? What are you talking about?”
Māui: “Details, Prometheus! What are the Karatgurk sisters like?”
Prometheus: “Dangerous.”
Māui: “Like… in a sexy femme fatale[Ext 2] way or a creepy, bug monster kind of way?”
Prometheus: “You mean, do they have a human appearance? Sure.”
Māui grinned.
Māui: “Oh happy fucking day! Win or lose on the fire front, Māui wins.”
Prometheus grinned back, evidently missing the point of Māui’s little celebration, and pumped his arm.
Prometheus: “That’s the spirit! So, we need to figure out how to get past the Karatgurk into The Dreaming and then back to the Earth with the spark of fire.”
Māui: “I reckon I could distract them pretty well.”
He woke a big shit-eating grin.
Prometheus: “I think we’ll need an expert.”
Māui: “I-I’m experienced! I’m not a virgin!”
Prometheus: “Huh? What?”
Nanabozho: “We should enlist Spider-woman.”
Māui squealed and leapt into the air.
Māui: “When did you--!?”
The rabbit looked up at Māui and promptly pooped on cue.
Māui: “Asshole.”
Nanabozho: “Yes, that’s where it comes from.”
Prometheus: “I don’t think superheroes are the ones for this job, Nanabozho. Besides, I don’t think they exist yet… or maybe they do, and they just aren’t called superheroes yet!”
Nanabozho: “I didn’t mean a superhero. I meant Spider-woman. Sometimes she’s called Spider Grandmother.”
Māui: “Now I’m disappointed. Granny is too old for my tastes.”
Nanabozho: “She’s a timeless being, one of the creators of the web of time. She lives in Spider Rock in Antediluvia. She probably knows a lot more about The Dreaming than me or Māui.”
Māui: “Speak for yourself!”
Nanabozho: “Should we wait for your essay on the subject then?”
Māui: “… let’s see Spider Granny.”
Prometheus: “At least she’ll be worth meeting with. But we shouldn’t underestimate the Karatgurk.”
Māui: “They can’t be that bad, I’ve never even heard of them. Where are they?”
Prometheus: “The passage to The Dreaming is on the continent of Australia, so their human forms are there. They avoid impacting the Earth directly, part of their contract with the WriterGod, I would assume. But they’ve had plenty to do with the gods of Earth and have had children by them, even. You probably know at least one of their children, a god you’ll know as Hermes.”
Māui: “Hermes? A god of magic? He’s a child of one of these Karatgurk?”
Prometheus: “The eldest of them, yes. Maia. The Olympians call them the Pleiades…”
Notes[]
Britt's Commentary[]
"The reference to "Spider-Woman" is a mix-up of the mythological Spider-woman, or Spider-grandmother[Ext 3], and Spider- Woman[Ext 4], the superhero. Prometheus' tactical plan is a reference to American Football[Ext 5]." ~ Britt the Writer
References[]
External References[]
- ↑ MILF article, Wikipedia.
- ↑ Femme fatale article, Wikipedia.
- ↑ Spider Grandmother article, Wikipedia.
- ↑ Spider-Woman (Jessica Drew) article, Wikipedia.
- ↑ American Football article, Wikipedia.