In Leg Post 11 Camelot has arrived at the planet of Orinoco Flow, where the ocean flowed around the planet constantly in a single direction. The Dread Fortress would thus be revealed once per year as the last of the ocean would pass for a month, at which time the fore of the ocean would submerge the Dread Master's again. King Arthur has hired a soothsayer to help him prediect outcomes for the battle but constantly calls him a witch. Arthur orders the attack from Camelot and heads for his own spaceboat to join the battle. Sir Bors and Sir Gawain are amongst the first to travel down to Orinoco Flow to face the Dread Masters and the Sith Empire.


Space Camelot

Orinoco Flow

Location: Command Deck | Camelot

Characters: King Arthur | Mysterious Witch | Merlin the Younger | Tom a'Lincoln | Queen Guinevere | Sir Lancelot | Sir Robin Dagonet | Morganna le Fay | Prince Mordred | Sir Tristram | The Black Knight

The unnecessarily humongous space vessel, Camelot, strove to maintain its position in proximity to the planet Orinoco Flow. King Arthur initially suspected someone had been listening to too much Enya[Ext 1] but upon reaching the planet he realised that the world was, indeed, in a perpetual state of flow. The water world was covered in one seemingly endless blanket of ocean that flowed in an eternal, single direction - led by a wave that would dwarf any mountain of Earth. The trail end of the ocean gave way to a dry strip of barren rock that would, in a month, be swallowed by the head of the ocean on its return trip. The ocean would take one whole year to cross the planet in and endless cycle.

Once, every year, the base of the powerful Dread Masters would be revealed for just one month before it was subsumed again by the ocean and inaccessible to those without the power to withstand the ocean's terrible force.

On the Command Deck of Camelot, King Arthur was waiting impatiently for the ocean to reveal the face of evil. Knights were kitted and ready to deploy in space-boats and Arthur himself was itching for battle. He wore his armoured space-suit of white and gold, with Excalibur at his side.

King Arthur: "How long must we wait, witch?"

Mysterious Witch: "You know, I'm not actually a witch, right? I a man for starters."

King Arthur: "Don't be sexist! Men can be witches too!"

Mysterious Witch: "Right. Whatever. I'm still not a witch."

King Arthur: "How much longer!"

The man, a human with grey hair and a thick beard, started writing down some calculations on a strip of paper.

Mysterious Witch: "Five minutes sooner than when you asked me last."

King Arthur: "Charlatan! I should have you arrested! And flogged!"

He paused.

King Arthur: "Flogged means whipped, right? Or does it mean given cake and a bath?"

Merlin: "It means whipped."

King Arthur: "Right! A good flogging, I think!"

Mysterious Witch: "The chances of you actually flogging me are..."

He wrote some new calculations.

Mysterious Witch: "Very low."

Merlin: "That's not very precise..."

Mysterious Witch: "This isn't science, you know?"

Tom a'Lincoln: "I think we should let the knights take a bathroom break, sire, before they pee in their suits."

Mysterious Witch: "There should be just enough time for a break, aye!"

King Arthur: "Just enough time!? So if the knights to on break will they be back in time!?"

Mysterious Witch: "Depends on how long a bathroom break you give them."

King Arthur: "How long should I give them!? You tell me! That's what you were hired for!"

Mysterious Witch: "Well, arguing with me means they now don't have enough time. They'll have to pee when they get down to the planet now."

King Arthur: "GAH! Whose idea was it to hire this buffoon!?"

There was much silence in the room.

Mysterious Witch: "Yours, I believe!"

King Arthur: "God damn it!"

The knights winced at the blasphemy.

Mysterious Witch: "You should send your knights now."

Arthur glanced at the viewscreen to see no buildings.

King Arthur: "But there's nothing there!"

Mysterious Witch: "There will be by the time the shuttles arrive!"

King Arthur: "What's a shuttle?"

Merlin: "He means the space boats."

Mysterious Witch: "You need to get there before the Dread Masters know they are under attack. Otherwise they'll mount a defence before your knights even arrive and they'll be slaughtered."

He wrote some more calculations.

Mysterious Witch: "Every second your chances of victory drop."

Arthur turned and pointed at Merlin imperiously.

King Arthur: "Order the attack!"

Merlin shuffled in her robe and then looked at Tom a'Lincoln. Tom then gave the order to attack. Realising the mistake, Arthur, with some embarrassment, shifted his finger to point at Tom instead. From the hangar bay of the colossal ship spat several space boats, which streaked through the atmosphere of Orinoco Flow and sped downwards like flaming comets.

Sir Lancelot: "FOR GREAT JUSTICE!"

The knight's bellow blasted through the communications system and Arthur swelled with pride.

King Arthur: "That's my friend! Go on, give them Hell!"

Mysterious Witch: "I just calculated his fortune and I'm sorry to tell you, he's probably going to die down there."


Arthur looked like he might cry.

Mysterious Witch: "Oops! Sorry! Wrong knight!"

There was a collective groan at the ineptitude of this stranger.

King Arthur: "Then... who?"

Mysterious Witch: "Someone called Sir Robin Dagonet."

Arthur's hopes blazoned.

King Arthur: "What are his chances exactly!?"

Mysterious Witch: "I would say ten percent survival chance."

Arthur deflated.

King Arthur: "Damn. Ten percent are odds enough for Sir Robin. Doubtless he'll survive, somehow!"

Queen Guinevere then swept into the room in her long, white dress. Somehow it never got dirty, despite constantly brushing along the floor. The doors hissed shut behind her.

Queen Guinevere: "I have just heard from some of our friends on Terra Flux that the evil emperor of the Sith Empire is currently with the Dread Masters. Succeed here, my husband, and you will not only vanquish a great evil in the galaxy but you'll free all of humanity in the Perseus Arm!"

King Arthur: "Success is guaranteed!"

Mysterious Witch: "Actually, there's a few new variables since you didn't send your knights the very second I said you should. And if they need the bathroom they might..."

King Arthur: "The chances of your beheading increase with every word you speak, charlatan!"

Merlin: "The last space boat is waiting for us, sire!"

King Arthur: "Good. Witch, let's go."

The man picked up his stationary and followed Merlin and Arthur from the Command Deck. They would be going down last, along with Morganna le Fay, Prince Mordred and Sir Tristram - Tristram had wanted to go first but in light of his wife's poor health, the witch had given his chances of survival as negligible should he go with the first wave. Arthur had expected the same result for The Black Knight, who had lost her mother, but the witch revealed she stood a better chance of surviving if she went first, likely fuelled by rage in the midst of battle. Arthur hated to admit it but the witch's predictions had proven useful in making the battle plans - provided everything he predicted came to pass.

Location: Spaceboat

Characters: Sir Gawain | Sir Bors

The spaceboat rocked vigorously as it plunged through the planet's atmosphere. Sir Gawain was strapped into his seat but turned his head to look out of the portal window at the world below. He could see the Great Wave of Orinoco Flow in the distance. It seemed so close from this altitude but it would take a month to reach them once they were on the planet proper. The barren strip seemed to be moving along too, forever chasing the waves. Even as he watched, a massive structure was revealed as the ocean moved away from it. It looked like a blackened castle - charred by dark, evil flames. It had many twisted spires and seemed the epitome of every stereotypical evil aesthetic that Sir Gawain could have conjured.

Sir Bors: "We're coming in to land! Be ready, knights!"

Sir Bors was piloting the space boat. Sir Gawain was finding it difficult to get his head around many of the new technologies of Camelot but Sir Bors seemed to take to them like a duck to water. Hopefully the landing would be softer than the last time.


Britt's Commentary

"Orinoco Flow is a play on the name of Oricon[Ext 2], the original Dread Masters'[Ext 3] world in Star Wars[Ext 4] material, and Orinoco Flow, a song by Enya[Ext 1]." ~ Britt the Writer.


External References

  1. 1.0 1.1 Enya article, Wikipedia.
  2. Oricon article, Wookieepedia.
  3. Dread Masters article, Wookieepedia.
  4. Star Wars article, Wikipedia.
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