Kaptin Kwanza was once an African pirate that travelled with Britticus more TBA. After he left Hero Force One he became a pirate once more, this time a space pirate with his ship The Jolly Wanker. This is when he would eventually meet Clear, the last salmitton of Mars. Seeing the opportunity to sell her for a huge payday, he gave chase but found himself coming between Clear and another would-be kidnapper named The Boss and his ship The Oh! My Love. Kwanza, much later, would eventually find Clear again aboard Mirare spacestation where he intended to get the bounty on Clear's head from Warlord Dienhand. Dienhand, however, cared nothing for the fate of Kwanza and she blew up the spacestation with him still onboard.





He has his own sense of justice and doesn't believe someone stands above others based just on their social standing or gender[Tales 1].

Powers & Abilities




The Jolly Wanker

Main article: The Jolly Wanker


Dimensional Box

Kaptin Kwanza has a box that contains dimensional folding, allowing it to be filled and filled without the container ever growing larger or running out of space[Tales 1].


Britt: The Legend

Main article: Britt: The Legend


Clear and the Hopeless

Clear and the Hopeless Story Arc

Main article: Clear and the Hopeless (Story Arc)

Kaptin Kwanza first met Clear, the last salmitton, aboard a spaceport when she approached him and his crew in the search for fuel for her ship, The Hopeful. She offered to trade him rare Martian goods when one of his crew realised that she was, in fact, a Martian. Seeing an easy payday the crew rushed after her, intend on kidnapping and selling her on to the highest bidder[CatH 1]. He and his crew chase her through the spaceport but she, and her friend Green, manage to escape aboard their small transport ship, The Bug. Kwanza, however, uses The Jolly Wanker to continue the chase and shoots a warning shot at the little vessel. They manage to escape, however, when they crash land in the hangar of the much larger vessel, The Hopeful, and jump out of the system[CatH 2].

The Living Daylights


Tales from The Imperium

The Story of Ameryl

Main articles: Tales Post 12 | Tales Post 13

Ameryl Hypericum was new to Ampersand but had already made herself a popular socialite through her Cloud Break Reserve wine. During a party at Ameryl's Manor, where she met with her protégés, Marianne and Suzanna de Myste, as well as the grigori known as Gadreel, Kaptin Kwanza invaded with his pirate band[Tales 2]. They separated the men and women, putting Gadreel on one side and Ameryl with the girls on the other side. When Suzanna de Myste complained about allowing ladies to kneel on the floor Kwanza lulled her into a false sense of security by agreeing with her and helping her to feet feet before he then shoved her back down again. When Oliver wanted to take Gadreel's pendant, he refused and stood up to Oliver and his guardian, Mr Slick. But rather than fight, Gadreel ran off. Ameryl had to stand up to Mr Slick instead and revealed her power over magic. Kwanza chose that moment to just leave[Tales 1].


Britt's Commentary

Britt: The Legend


Clear and the Hopeless

"Here I wanted to shed a whole new angle of light on the Character of Kaptin Kwanza. In essence he was serving as the first test of doing this - taking something from The Never-ending Story and producing it in a more realistic, less meta and more serious fashion. In B:tL, Kwanza was a comic-relief protagonist and side-kick to Britt, but in CatH he's a villainous antagonist that wants to kidnap and sell our hero. All of this is done without losing any of the original traits of the character, merely looking at the same person from a different perspective. So he is still funny, especially when talking, and yet we see his negative qualities in a much brighter and insidious light." - Britt the Writer


Clear and the Hopeless References

  1. CatH Post 4, CatH Page 1, Clear and the Hopeless (Story Arc), Clear and the Hopeless written by Britt the Writer.
  2. CatH Post 5, CatH Page 1, Clear and the Hopeless (Story Arc), Clear and the Hopeless written by Britt the Writer.

Cite error: <ref> tags exist for a group named "Tales", but no corresponding <references group="Tales"/> tag was found.
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.