HFU Post 4 briefly opens with Louis trying his phone again, after HFU Post 3, to contact Hero Plus One. At the Biltmore Estate, Hero Force manages to boot up the computer system, along with CynthAI, to help them in this new mission to rescue Britticus Fay. It turns out that Britticus Fay was one of the founding members of Hero Force and recruited Dr R. Deep. Seraphim was recruited by The Patriot later and didn't know the original founders. Only Magick Snowflake, self-professed number one Hero Force fan, knows this history. Winters, likewise, is registered in the system so CynthAI recognises her. Winters was hoping to find Dr R. Deep, who has knowledge of arcane magick that could access Hell, but Seraphim fears he would be busy with his new role at the centre of magic (The Toiletium). When Flax Hyperon tries to make a sexy joke, he is admonishes as no longer having the charm he once had and he laments that his life has come to this. An incoming call from Louis interrupts them and Seraphim refuses to take the call, wanting to get in touch with Deep instead. The others realise, however, that Louis would probably have a better chance at getting into hell since he is a demon and Seraphim resigns to answering the phone. Louis is surprised that she answered the call and not Ben or Flax. She abruptly informs him of their new mission and tells him he can help. He agrees and she orders him to get to the mansion before hanging up. He takes it as a positive first step. HPO seems concerned over Seraphim's behaviour towards Louis and Flax even offers to give her some pointers. Seraphim, however, is all business and she speaks of how they are underprepared and out of shape but they must sink or swim on this mission to rescue Britt.


Louis: "No, just a crappy signal."

He holds his old phone up into the air - the only phone he could afford - to try to get more signal bars.

Hero Force have gathered in the data centre. It is one of the few rooms mostly free of empty boxes from Dominoes[Ext 1] or KFC[Ext 2]. It is filled with assorted machines from their former glory days so they are able to still get incredible satellite data, sensor readings, astro-navigational charts, aether detectors and all manner of other goodies. Unfortunately it took them a while to figure out how to turn it all back on without a blue-screen of death[Ext 3]. As the central computer initiates - a circular machine at the centre of the room - a voice radiates from the speakers.

"Initialising. Processing. Bleep bloop bleep bloop--"

Seraphim: "CynthAI, we know you're a computer. You don't need to say bleep bloop."

CynthAI: "Bleep and bloop are official words from the dictionary."

Hero Plus One frowns.
"Meaning what?"

CynthAI: "Computer noises."

HPO: "Ask a stupid question..."

Winters: "Hello CynthAI."

CynthAI: "Hello..."

There was a brief moment.

CynthAI: "Winters."

Winters: "You know me?"

HPO: "Yeah, you know her?"

CynthAI: "Winters details are on record. One of the earliest members of the Hero Force team, recruited by founding member Britticus Fay."

Seraphim: "This Britt lost in Hell is one of the founders of Hero Force?"

Winters: "That's right. He recruited Dr R. Deep into the team. He once went to Hell before where he saved Deep's older sister, Ms Deep."

Magick: "I knew that!"

HPO: "Of course Hero Force's number one fan knew that."

Magick: "I am the number one fan! I have a t-shirt that says so!"

HPO: "Actually, I'm surprised you didn't know Seraphim."

Seraphim: "I was recruited by The Patriot, after Dr Deep. Britticus and Winters must have left the team before I joined."

Winters: "Dr Deep knew a lot about arcane magick. I think it's the only way mortal people can get into Hell without... you know."

Seraphim: "We can try to contact Deep but I know he's busy with the new centre of magic."

HPO: "I heard it's in someone's toilet..."

Magick: "A magical toilet!"

Flax: "I know what that's like..."

HPO: "Gross..."

Magick: "You just eat too much, Flax!"

Flax: "There's no such thing as too much of a... good thing."

HPO: "It's really not sexy when you're talking about food, Flax."

Flax: "Where did my life go!?"

He chews sadly on a cotton candy.

HPO: "Where did you even get that!?"

Flax: "Woman gave it to me for saving her."

HPO: "That was two weeks ago!"

He nods slowly and keeps eating it.

CynthAI: "There is an incoming call."

CynthAI says moments before the telephone starts to ring.

Flax: "Who is it, CynthAI?"

CynthAI: "If you pick it up you will find out."

HPO: "Or your could just tell us who the number belongs to in advance!"

CynthAI: "If you rely on technology too much--"

HPO: "Are you really about to tell us we don't need you, because if you are--"

CynthAI: "It is former member known as Acidspitter."

Magick: "Aha! He could definitely help us get to Hell!"

Winters claps her hands with joy.

Magick: "Wow! You're super happy, aren't you Winters!? I like her already!"

HPO: "You don't need a pet, Magick."

Winters: "Heeeeeeey! I'm an android, not an animal!"

They all turn to Seraphim, who still hasn't answered the phone. Each person glances at the phone on the wall and back to the team leader.
"Uh, boss? You going to get that?"

Seraphim: "I think Deep is a better option."

Magick: "But you said he might be busy."

HPO: "And 'Spit should know better than Deep how to--"

Seraphim sighs with frustrated resignation.

Seraphim: "Fine..."

She walks across the room. She still moves with every ounce of grace she once did, even when doing nothing more than answering a telephone. She unhooks the landline from the wall holster and holds it up to her ear.

Seraphim: "Acidspitter."

He shoves one hand into his pocket and arches up his back as Seraphim herself answers the phone. He had tried her mobile already but got no luck. She rarely carried her mobile with her, so that was no surprise to him. The house phone was the other option but he had expected Flax or Benjamin to answer it.

Louis: "It's, uh, me."

Seraphim: "I know..."

Louis: "So... I was just calling to ask... how you're doing?"

Seraphim: "We're going to Hell to save a founding member of Hero Force from demons."

Louis' brain dies for a moment before it manages to catch up.

Louis: "Um... fun times?"

Seraphim: "Maybe... you could help."

Louis: "Oh... Sure--"

Seraphim: "Come to the mansion straight away."
She hangs up and he is left looking at his phone dumbly.

Louis: "Well... it's a first step, right?"

HPO: "That went... well."

Flax: "You know, if you need some pointers, Sera, I could--"

Seraphim: "I shall contact Judge and Ffion Heul to see if they're ready to return to active duty. When Lou-- Acidspitter arrives we can start the mission. I don't have to tell you that this is our first major mission since... since a long time ago. We're underprepared and out of shape--"

She practically glares at Flax.

Seraphim: "But we have no choice. This is sink or swim. There is a man who needs our help."

Winters: "Woman now, actually."

Seraphim: "...woman. I think you should tell us more about the person we're saving."


External References

  1. Domino's Pizza article, Wikipedia.
  2. KFC article, Wikipedia.
  3. Blue Screen of Death article, Wikipedia.
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